BOR_Chapter 10: Favorites

Write about your favorites from different periods of your life. Here you should focus on movies, food, dress styles, etc. Recall every thing you've loved dearly over the past 17 years. 
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I have a lot of favorites in my life, and I am incredibly blessed to have them. For the past 17 years, I've learned to appreciate the little things, although recently, I've taken many things for granted and I'm especially surprised whenever I find myself taking any of my favorite things for granted.

My favorite music would be "Christian," and good music. That might seem strange, and even a little too "spiritual-ly," but I truly believe that what I listen to affects my mood and attitude, and I would at least have my mind filled with thoughts devoted to Christ that glorify and bless the Creator's name. About the "good music" part: I appreciate all genres of music when they avoid offensive language and topics [FSAE: or at least are tactful and wise about them] and those musicians who make music with timeless, catchy, well-versed, non-repetitive, rhythmic, and deep messages. That's a lot to ask from any songwriter, and I don't expect anybody to be able to create such masterpieces, but those are some of the criteria I use when mentally choosing whether I like a song or not, Christian or secular. When it comes to "Christian" songs, however, I usually choose certain songs, like "Desde Mi Interior," "Awesome God," "El Shaddai," and more, rather than certain bands or groups, because they all seem to copy each other and make covers of each others' songs, which all have different qualities and sound similar.

I love Korean Barbecue (Galbi, basically short beef ribs cut sideways), which I cook frequently on the grill. I'm also a sucker for medium rare steaks. Since Cross Country races frequently in the fall, I've grown to love pasta and Italian food all the more, especially Olive Garden's food. Because of my mixed heritage, I've learned to love both American food and traditional Korean food, although my family will attest otherwise--I hate the Korean staple kimchi and other vegan-friendly Korean side dishes.

I love seeing people do the right thing, even if that person seldom is me. That thought probably doesn't belong here, but I think it does.

My favorite movies would be ones that I could take my parents, my little brother, and my friends (guys and girls alike) to see and not be embarrassed at how any of them would understand them. I feel a sense of responsibility for my younger brother's conscience, which seems pretty malleable to the whims of popular American culture, and because that's not at all a good thing, I side with my mother on her no-tolerance policy for going to the theatres to see R-rated films, even if that means I myself am bound by conscience to follow her over-arching rule. I am not at all selfless in this action; I want to have good times with my friends corroding our minds like the next guy. However, I know in my soul that abstinence from that kind of impressionable exposure will only benefit me in my walk, striving to become more like Christ.

My favorite books right now are Ted Dekker's Circle series, Bryan Davis' books, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle), The Testament (by John Grisham), and The Hunger Games. [FSAE- Hah! That was before it was mainstream!]

Jesus is better than being "sorrowful unto death"

In my Liberal Philosophy class... cough... (I mean "Social Ecology 63: Race, Ethnicity, and Nationalism") we watched a movie called "Stealing a Nation." This film is a John Pilger documentary of the depopulation-ing of the peoples of a little island in the Chagos Archipelago in the Indian Ocean called Diego Garcia. These islanders were forced off Diego Garcia in the years 1968-1973. The reason? It was declared that the islands were unsafe for habitation on account of the archipelago being subject to natural disasters and the effects of global warming. This doesn't stand to reason because (and I stand alongside my professor on this case wholeheartedly) immediately in these years the U.S. (scumbag of the world, according to liberal social ecologists) was granted permission from the British government to build a large naval base, which was used in many of the Middle Eastern/Asian wars as a launch site for bombing raids and missiles and stuff. It's pretty obvious the reason the Chagossians were banished wasn't anything to do with safety, as Navymen live on the base to this day. The islanders were shipped to the adjacent island, Mauritius, where they live lives of poverty and inadequacy.

Anyways.

Long story short, the islanders were sad. So sad they were that John Pilger documented several of them saying they knew friends and children who died of nothing other than "sadness."

Huh.

This sounds familiar.

Ah! So it is. Jesus said something of the sort.---

My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death: tarry ye here, and watch (Mark 14:34, KJV). 

Jesus knew this exact pain just as the Chagossians did-- the pain of unjust exile from one's homeland! He bore our sins and our death and schisms from God's holiness, but it was on our behalf and not His. It's one thing to be banished like Jacob or Moses, who usurped and killed their fellow men; it is another thing altogether to be banished like Hagar and Ishmael in consequence of the sins of another. But praise be to God! Jesus isn't just coincidentally banished as our Scapegoat, but He does it willingly; no, He was predestined to die like a lamb led to the slaughter, outside of the camp, on whose head all the sins of the people were laid, whose blood makes atonement once and for all.

As a side note: Jesus prays. He prays here in the garden in His passion and He prays elsewhere. He prays even now. This is answer enough to my doubting heart's struggle with the sovereignty of God and the role of prayer and people in the plan of God. In the eternal words of my friend Joel, "Prayer is like talking to your girlfriend. It's not much of a relationship if you don't ever talk to her." 

Oh Captain, my Captain.

Firstly, I'd like to post this very tentatively, as I have an extremely rudimentary knowledge of Hebrew, and have not done a word study on this word. I'd like to talk with Pastor Hanaoka at Branch of Hope OPC before I'd be willing (or maybe comfortable is a better word) to preach this.

One of my favorite descriptions of soldiers in the Bible is the phrase used by the New American Standard / New King James and the KJV before them--"mighty men of valor." (My best British friend would approve that the King James renders it "valour," but that's beside the point.)

I don't often think of the Israelite men as being "mighty." Usually I see them how the men of 1950s America saw them-- as the weakling Monkey-in-the-Middle for the past few thousand years. This, however, is far from the truth. The media actually catches a glimpse of the truth when it portrays Israel as being a formidable country in the Near East. It wasn't by the strength of men or of horses that won Ancient Israel her battles, but by the guiding hand of the LORD who chooses to use means like epidemics, walls of water, walls that fall outward, curtains that tear downward, fires that burn (but do not consume!) flesh or branches, and stones that knock down giants.

Whose hand killed Goliath?

Nevertheless, the Christian is called to advance the kingdom through a different sort of bloodshed, following a different Joshua. The true Joshua. This Captain is the Author and Perfector of salvation. (Something interesting about the word author is that it is the root of authority. In order to have authority over something, you need to be its author... or at least have borrowed authority as the Author's steward. Like a teacher. Or a parent. Or a doctor or lawyer or pastor.)

This Joshua confronts Joshua, son of Nun, at his surveyance of Jericho, with His sword drawn and ready in His hand--clearly not a sign of timidity. Joshua, son of Nun, asks what any commander would: "Who goes there? Are you for us or against us?" The Lord's reply answers Joshua's question much in the same way that the Apostle Paul reasons in Romans 8:31-39.

If God be for us, who can be against us? ... Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us (v.31,37).

The Lord answers Joshua, son of Nun, with these words: "Nay; but as captain of the host of the LORD am I now come" (Joshua 5:14a). This Captain now leads us in His victory lap of history.

Yet the story isn't complete without a recollection of the past passion, the battles and casualties being honored. The greatest travesty of history was the holocaust of the Son of Man, yet Christians are called even today to lay down swords and cry with the martyrs at Jerusalem: "How long, O Lord?" The Revelation to the Apostle John records this bloodshed vividly:

I saw under the altar the souls of them that were slain for the word of God, and for the testimony which they held: And they cried with a loud voice, saying, "How long, O Lord, holy and true, do You not judge and avenge our blood on them that dwell on the earth?" (6:9b-10).

The author of Hebrews carries this point further, and exhorts the saints by reminding them that their leader, their captain, their Christ suffered much to be like them. As He was likewise tempted like us, so did He suffer like His disciples and brothers would suffer.

For it became Him, for Whom are all things, and by Whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings. For both He that sanctifies and they who are sanctified are all of one: for which cause He is not ashamed to call them brethren, saying "I will declare thy name unto my brethren, in the midst of the church will I sing praise unto thee." And again, "I will put my trust in Him." And again, "Behold I and the children God hath given me" (Hebrews 2:10-13).

Who in the days of His [Jesus's] flesh, when He had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto Him that was able to save Him from death, and was heard in that He feared; though He were a Son, yet learned He obedience by the things which He suffered; and being made perfect, He became the Author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey Him (Hebrews 5:7-9).

This is how the Apostle John heard the word concerning the martyred saints of Jerusalem, fallen under Rome's spear. These Christians were powerful and brave men, spurred by the Spirit of God (Acts 4) in order to.... die. It's a new way to be human.

They overcame him [Satan] by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death ( Rev.12:11).

This brings me to the next point in a study of the "mighty men of valor" : men of war shed blood. This is the singular feature which God singles out of David which excludes him from building Him a temple that the face of God might be physically manifest among the children of Israel. The Israelites, following Joshua, son of Nun, were commanded to eradicate the 7 tribes of Canaan, whose sinnings had reached their brims. How do Christians today shed blood in the name of their King?

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him that endured such contradiction of sinners against Himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin (Hebrews 12:1-4).

Part of the vows a Christian makes when he joins my church is the acknowledgement of his own sin and of the desire to "mortify the flesh." This is a fancy word for "put to death, kill, execute." The Christian does warfare not only against his own lingering sin nature, but also in the world, though not with swords. He springs into action at the Great Commission, and he longs to bring the world into full submission to the lordship of Christ. He follows the path of his Shepherd, who truly did resist unto "bloodshed, striving against sin." His mantra is "it is better to suffer than to sin."

Yet what do we do with the testosterone flowing through our veins, men? I believe the Apostle Paul has an answer for us, which he skillfully draws from the lips of a Philistine. In 1 Samuel 4, the Israelites decide to take the ark of the covenant into battle. Intimidation tactics, eh? Well, it worked... for about two verses. (1 verse ~ 30 minutes. True story.) The Philistines cried:

 God is come into the camp...Woe unto us! for there hath not been such a thing heretofore. Woe unto us! who shall deliver us out of the and of these mighty Gods? these are the Gods that smote the Egyptians with all the plagues in the wilderness. 

Be strong and quit yourselves like men, O ye Philistines, that ye be not servants unto the Hebrews, as they have been unto you: quit yourselves like men, and fight. (1 Samuel 4:7-9)

The Apostle Paul uses these same words to encourage the Corinthians:

Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit ye like men, be strong. Let all your things be done with charity. (1 Corinthians 16:13-14)

According to Mark Hamby of Lamplighter Publishing, the word changes in the New Testament to imply "the gathering of moral conviction with the exercise of manly valor" (http://lamplighterbooks.com/?p=473). He quotes from John Eldredge's Wild at Heart that "a man must have a battle to fight, a great mission to his life that involves and yet transcends even home and family. He must have a cause to which he is devoted even unto death, for this is written into the fabric of his being. That is why God created you--to be His intimate ally, to join Him in the Great Battle."

So I leave you with this poem, men, to spur you onwards in your battle march of life. Walt Whitman wrote it in commemoration of Abraham Lincoln's assassination, but O how much better does the Christian bear the sorrow of His Lord, who knows that He is living? Join the King of kings!

O Captain, My Captain. http://www.bartleby.com/142/193.html
Walt Whitman (1819-1892). Leaves of Grass. 1900.

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring,
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up--for you the flag is flung--for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths--for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
this arm beneath your head;
It is some dream that on the deck,
You've fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;
Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead. 

Irrelevant and totally not-metaphorical resolutions:
Resolved: to take the stairs always, unless another party requests otherwise.
Resolved: to take the stairs two or more at a time going upwards.
Resolved: to take the stairs strictly one at a time going downwards.

BOR_Chapter 9: Annoyances

Write about those things that most annoy you. They can be trite (people who eat loudly, BO, gum smacking) or they can be significant (lies, hypocrisy, failure). What exactly is it about each that bothers you? What good stories can you tell about being annoyed?

I am a very easily annoyed person, and that is one of my major flaws. I'll admit it, but I think that it may have stemmed from having a spastic little brother to entertain. [FSAE: He's still spazzy, but I'm not annoyed because of him. He, among others, may aggravate, trigger, exacerbate, or stoke my annoyance, but the problem is me. Ain't it always?] Most of the things that annoy me I see in myself which only serve to further pique my soul. [FSAE: I'm definitely an introvert when it comes to being annoyed!]

I'm most annoyed by hypocrisy, because whenever I try to advise my younger brother as he's going through an aggressively rebellious puberty, he reminds me ever-so-clearly the very same flaws I reveal laid root in my own life.

I am a very methodical person. I call myself semi-perfectionistic (because I'm only half-Korean), and disorganization really gets to me. My brother, father, Mr. Becksvoort, and Trevor Van Dyke are good examples who test my patience with that little pet peeve. It drives me just a little bit crazy when I see clutters, especially when they are "erratically arranged" or "organized with a method to my madness" as Trevor says. [FSAE: *Gulp.* I'm guilty of this now. At least it doesn't bother me as much. And Trevor definitely has a madness to his methods.]

Courtesy, manners, and chivalry were bred into me by an older generation when my grandparents babysat me in the first few years of my life. They taught me to treat others better than I would like to be treated, and when I realized that this was impossible because my own mind wants the best out of life for myself, I realized that they were simply echoing Jesus' words to love our neighbor as ourselves and to do unto others as we would have done unto us. This really gets under my skin when I see other people ignore or be unaware of the basic laws of courtesy. Were they never taught? Do they respect unspoken rules? And why do I not follow the rules of selflessness as my Savior did?

Cursing really gets to me, because it really reveals a problem with the heart. I don't mean that cursing is a cardiac disorder, but rather a symptom of an ungrateful or unregenerate "nephesh," or the center of human thought and emotion. Our Lord Jesus said, "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of the heart his mouth speaks" (Biblegateway.com, Luke 6:45). Too often, however, I find myself screaming obscenities in my mind at discourteous drivers, school bullies, and myself when I catch myself doing wrong.

Giving in to temptation is another one of my pet peeves. That may sound pretty deep and intellectual [FSAE: Nope. It doesn't.], but I see it in myself and my actions every day: should I watch one more episode of the "That 70s Show" marathon? Should I be watching it in the first place? Should I do more work first, before I play? Should I be more cautious of hat I do for entertainment? That "R" rating can't really be that bad, and so on and so forth.

Above all else, what gets to me the most is when I see these short-comings in my own self, because I am so prone to just pass the dying man on the road from Jericho to Jerusalem, and I can count on my fingers the times that the Holy Spirit has stirred in my life the ability and desire to be a good "Samaritan," if you will, and do what is loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, and self-controlled. 

Personal #7: The job, and other loose ends.

1. I have a tendency (as I've heard seems to be part of the curse of the Fall upon masculinity) towards laziness. Vicki encouraged me with this Bible verse quite a while back, even before she was married.

And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
Galatians 6:9


2. God is good. How do we know this? The contrary is impossible. Christians have a distinct advantage because, as Paul comments to the Jews, "unto them were committed the oracles of God" (Romans 3:2b). You don't have to look much further than Scripture to draw the conclusion that God is good. This knowledge is unconsciously expressed in our languages-- "good morning!" draws its indicative/subjunctive wish from the phrase "God's morning!" (indicative--"the morning is good;" subjunctive--"would that the morning be good."). However, even non-Christians operate for the most part on the assumption that God is good, or at least that nature and evolution and chance have a benevolent and purposeful feel for this planet. All those ideologies rest upon the principle that power and wisdom originate from below and continue to rise with time, as if the master of the universe were baking bread. Evolution requires progress to be beneficial; "natural selection" is just code for "turns out this worked," which presumes that producing offspring is the primary drive for life. Life-drive, yes. Primary, no.

3. Pet peeves are like phobias: they are both rational annoyances / fears taken to ungodly extremes. This has been part of the working definition my Abnormal Psychology class has been using: mental disorders can oftentimes be described as being an overactive or prolonged or excessive natural human emotion. Phobias are sometimes natural fears taken to extremes (spiders, snakes, heights, tight spaces, puncturing objects). Then again, sometimes they aren't (agoraphobia--open spaces). Freud says... unconscious problems. The Bible says "you are a sinner: repent and look to the Christ." But sometimes these problems are merely chemical imbalances within the brain. The brain =/= the mind.
-This is partly why I remain at UCI studying psychology. I want to be able to identify physical problems while always keeping an eye on more fundamental problems of the psyche.

4. Corporate Designated prayer is like 4-part hymn harmony is like a well-structured essay. They all hold to a thesis (The Lord's Prayer, the key + Bible verse, the thesis), and build off each other, and point to the same goal. Are they more beautiful? Subjectively, certainly. Objectively, not necessarily.

5. Mark: "So this one time I made a cookie. It was THIS big (gestures arms to 1' x 1' dimensions). Then some guy bought it for a diamond."
Thomas: "Was it real?"
Mark: "Of course not! I traded him a fake cookie!"
Me: "...a fake cookie for a real diamond. Seems fair."
Mark: "Yeah, and then I tried to sell the diamond. The diamond wasn't real. So I traded the diamond back for the cookie. Then I made the cookie into a car."
Me: "Does your cookie-car run on milk?"
Mark: "Yeah, you just pour milk into the engine!"
Me: "To roll down your window, all you have to do is take a bite out of your car!"
Thomas: "You can't do that..."
Mark: "You can if it's a cookie-car."

6. We recently recited the following question from the Westminster Larger Catechism as a part of Westminster OPC's congregational reading, which reminded me that teaching is a really heavy job, reader. Reader, I covet your prayers both now and in the future.

Q 130. What are my sins as a superior? (application of the 5th commandment)
A. My sins as a superior are, besides the neglect of the duties required of me, an inordinate seeking of myself, my own glory, ease, profit, or pleasure, commanding things unlawful, or not in the power of inferiors to perform; my counseling, encouraging, or favoring them in that which is evil; my dissuading, discouraging, or discountenancing them in that which is good; my correcting them unduly; my careless exposing, or leaving them to wrong, temptation, and danger; my provoking them to wrath; or any way dishonoring myself, or lessening my authority, by an unjust, indiscreet, rigorous, or remiss behavior.

7. Last month, one of the memory verses I required of the children was Revelation 4:11. It goes like this:

"You are worthy, O Lord, 
To receive glory and honor and power;
For You created all things, 
And by Your will they exist and were created."

The grammar lessons and theology lessons seem to go over their young heads, but maybe it won't pass over you. Semicolons perform the function of connecting two sentences a little more intimately than a period. Thus, the first part of the sentence must be understood by the second's context. Why do we render unto God glory, honor, and power as we ought? He created all things, and by His will they exist and were created. It's important to note the present tense in the word "exist." Our God didn't step away from the oven for a second; rather "in Him we live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28a). No, our Savior breathes us into existence just as He ordains worms to eat trees and ordains winds to scorch trees and ordains fish to swallow men and ordains men to tear their clothes in contrition and ordains animals to fast and cry out for redemption.

8. Calvin says I have power over him, but not authority. Regardless of this statement and my involvement, he's onto something important about sovereignty. A nation-state must have both of these things in order to be declared "sovereign" over its own declared peoples and territory. Interesting.

9. #105 You Felons on Trial in Courts.
by Walt Whitman. 1900. Leaves of Grass.

You felons on trial in courts;
You convicts in prison-cells--you sentenced assassins, chain'd and hand-cuff'd with iron;
Who am I, that I am not on trial, or in prison?
Me, ruthless and devilish as any, that my wrists are not chain'd with iron, or my ankles with iron?

You prostitutes flaunting over the trottoirs, or obscene in your rooms,
Who am I, that I should call you more obscene than myself?

O culpable! O traitor!
I acknowledge--I expose!
(O admirers! praise not me! compliment not me! you make me wince,
I see what you do not--I know what you do not.)

Inside these breast-bones I lie smutch'd and choked;
Beneath this face that appears so impassive, hell's tides continually run;
Lusts and wickedness are acceptable to me;
I walk with delinquents with passionate love;
I feel I am of them--Ibelong to those convicts and prostitutes myself,
And henceforth I will not deny them--for how can I deny myself?

Yet, Mr. Whitman, the Christian can say "Jesus's blood washes even my conscience, and His Spirit makes me ready and willing to follow His passions instead of mine."

10. For my Health Psych. class, my group studied and researched Uganda. I wish I'd have gotten in touch with Erika Bulthuis (http://myheartisfilled.blogspot.com) sooner-- she's being super cool and missionary-ing in Uganda with the OPC missionaries. Anyways, the gist of the project was the figure out what plagued the country and what sort of care was available and stuff. Turns out dysentery likes to catch after HIV turns to AIDS. If Calvin hadn't had similar stomach-flu symptoms, I would have felt extraordinarily sympathetic in the past 48 hours.

11. Be Thou my consolation, my shield when I must die;
Remind me of Thy passion when my last hour draws nigh.
Mine eyes shall then behold Thee, upon Thy cross shall dwell,
My heart by faith enfolds Thee; who dieth thus dies well. 
("O Sacred Head Now Wounded"'s hidden last verse!)

The Runner,

by Walt Whitman.  (1819-1892). Leaves of Grass. 1900.

On a flat road runs the well-train'd runner;
His is lean and sinewy, with muscular legs;
He is thinly clothed--he leans forward as he runs,
With lightly closed fists, and arms partially rais'd. 

Jesus is better than humanistic transcendental ontology.

But first! My dream:

I dreamed that Will and I were in one of the large, rather steep lecture halls at UCI. He was hosting the show "Bachelor," of which I was. Three girls walked out and sat on stools very similarly to the sketch performed by the cast comedians of "Whose Line Is It Anyways?" I don't remember them at all.

Suddenly my dream shifted and Will was the teacher or TA proctoring an SAT exam in the same lecture hall. I was taking it, when suddenly a laptop was on my desk. Totally legit. Then I was looking up the dates for Team Praha, a ministry of the OPC to the Czech Republic, when I noticed a new thing on the website: an opportunity in Ireland. Team Dublin, it was called. Then I woke up. 
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#42. "The Base of all Metaphysics"
Walt Whitman (1819-1892). Leaves of Grass. 1900.

And now, gentlemen,
A word I give to remain in your memories and minds,
As base, and finale too, for all metaphysics.

(So, to the students, the old professor,
At the close of his crowded course.)

Having studied the new and antique, the Greek and Germanic systems,
Kant having studied and stated--Fichte and Schelling and Hegel,
Stated the lore of Plato--and Socrates, greater than Plato,
And greater than Socrates sought and stated--Christ divine having studied long,
I see reminiscent to-day those Greek and Germanic systems,
See the philosophies all--Christian churches and tenets see,
Yet underneath Socrates see--and underneath Christ the divine I see,
The dear love of man for his comrade--the attraction of friend to friend,
Of the well-married husband and wife--of children and parents,
Of city for city, and land for land. 

Walt Whitman was kind of silly sometimes.

The base of all metaphysics must originate with God, since He was in the beginning. Whitman unfortunately misunderstands the message of the Christ, and, being influenced by the reigning philosophies of the time, errs grievously. It is not for a brotherly, affectionate sort of love that Christ would die on a cross while we were yet sinners. There is an aspect of this sort of love. Christ calls us brothers. We can cry "Abba, Father," for we have been given the spirit of adoption. This is necessary but insufficient for the label of "base and finale."

Rather, it is the love which exceeds expectation, which exceeds comprehension which was in the beginning. God is agape, not phileos. 

Plenteous in compassion Thou; [1 of 6]

blot out my transgressions now.

My pastor is going through Psalm 51 every first Sunday of the month, when our church partakes in the Lord's Supper. One of my favorite hymns is also based on this beautiful penitential psalm ("God, Be Merciful To Me," #486 in the red), thus this series of posts began to ruminate in my mind.

The music:
Firstly, a word on the song's musical and lyrical quality before delving into the text. The music is the tune "Redhead," in the key of E♭ Major, has four notes in a measure to the beat of the quarter note, and begins & ends in the standard song fashion of a full key chord triad for the lower three vocal parts (E♭, G, B♭) and the root as the soprano's (E♭). It's only a three (or six) line song in the red, as opposed to a four (or 8) line song, but it still follows roughly the same pattern of a hymn. A four line song usually follows musical pattern AABA (lyrical rhyming notwithstanding); a three line song usually follows musical pattern ABA. 

I'm going to focus on the middle ("B") section of this song, and take the Psalm 51 verse each verse this song references and point to both the beauty of the forgiveness of God as well as the significance the songwriter places the Psalmist's words at that junction. 

But first! My attempt of writing the coolness that is "B." 

The "B" section of this song does something unusual in the first half of the second line (the 3rd of 6 rhyming couplets).  The first measure works out great: E♭, C♮, B♭, E♭. The second measure is the super coolness. The notes jump from A♭ + C♮ to this really cool chord: A♭ bass + D♮ + F♮ + C♮. My sparse music theory knowledge is drawing me a blank to identify this chord or the big words that explain why it sounds funny. Thanks, Vicki Johnson! Vicki says that the weird chord is a D half diminished, which is the 7 chord of the key of E♭ Major. Turns out it's not so out-of-place in function, just in sound. (If you know what it's called, leave it as a comment below. Muchas gracias.) In any case, it sounds weirdly out of place. In typical hymn form, it doesn't match the progression of the ending measures of lines 1 or 5. It's my theory that the musician wrote this out-of-place chord in between the bland A♭ and the following E♭ to drive home a point. The singers, if they sung slowly and softly enough, would be well aware of the dissonance in the middle of those three syllables, and would experience a brief catharsis in the middle of the song after finishing that measure. This makes me scrutinize and love the portion of Psalm 51 all the more that lands in this spot. 

God, be mer-ci-ful to me; on Thy grace I rest my plea:

plent-eous in com-pas-sion Thou! Blot out my trans-gres-sions now,

wash me: make me pure with-in, cleanse: O cleanse me from my sin. 

The psalm:

Have mercy upon me, O God, According to Your lovingkindness;

According to the multitude of Your tender mercies, blot out my transgressions. 

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. 
---Psalm 51:1-2

David pours his soul out before God in a plea for mercy, like a man before a king who is ready to sign a decree of judgment. Pastor Gorrell said that the Hebrew teaches us a nugget of wisdom in the urgency of David's begging heart: the very first word is the word for "mercy" (חנני chonneni), such that David wastes no time on the footstool of the king. "Mercy!" is the first word from his mouth. David, being king of all Israel and sitting enthroned in Jerusalem, doubtless saw this very drama play out before his very eyes when he was called upon to deliver judgment against other sinners.

Beyond King David's own ability to empathize with other men in this situation, Spurgeon sheds some insight on David's first words in this prayer for pardon, or rather the lack of certain words: nowhere, Spurgeon says, is the name of David mentioned.

"He does not say 'Lord remember David:' he is ashamed of his name. And he does not seem to want God to remember that, but to remember mercy: and to have pity on this nameless sinner. He does not say 'Save the son of thine handmaid,' or 'Deliver thy servant,' as he was wont to do; he just appeals to mercy, and that is all" (2).

David here is like the prodigal son, returning in shame and disgrace, who cries "I am no longer worthy to be called your son." (Interestingly enough, that parable Jesus taught does not usually end with the father's forgiveness. It usually ends up with the father killing his son. This result David knows to be just.)

The words he begs of God increase in their feverish intensity-- "mercy" (חנני chonneni), loving-kindness (חסדך chasdecha), tender mercies (רחמיך rachameycha). These words are referring to divine compassion, according to Adam Clarke. The first word for mercy means natural mercy. The sort of mercy even the ungodly have over their children, or the more base creations show for their young. Jesus alludes to this in Matthew 7:9-11 and Luke 11:11-13 when he makes the rhetorical juxtaposition that if sinful men can be merciful in their giving gifts to their children, how much more God, being good, can give good gifts [the Holy Spirit] to His children? Clarke says this word invokes the idea of moaning over that object of love/pity-- the multitude of sounds and cooing we make over young children. The second word, called "loving-kindness" in the NKJV, "denotes a strong proneness, a ready, large, and liberal disposition to goodness and compassion, powerfully prompting to all instances of kindness and bounty; flowing as freely as waters from a perpetual fountain" (1).

The third and last word David uses in this introduction is translated "tender mercies." It merits its own paragraph, for reason of its content and a story. A pastor, while preaching at my campus Bible study, once said that if/when a Christian guy asks one of his sisters in the Lord out on a date, then he should remember to pray aloud for the cultivating of God's tender mercies in his life before dinner. Apparently Christian girls worth their salt would recognize how profound such a prayer is, and would definitely go on a second date with said guy! :)

Hah. Anyways, the third word, according to Clarke, "denotes what the Greeks called σπλαγχνίζομαι, that most tender pity which we signify by the moving of the heart and bowels, which argues the highest degree of compassion of which nature is susceptible" (1). We use this same phrase when we refer to something "pulling our heartstrings," or that we are "deeply moved." Not to be confused with bowel movements, this phrase is also used in the King James quite commonly, which later is translated into "heart."

And Joseph made haste; for his bowels did yearn upon his brother: and he sought where to weep; and he entered into his chamber, and wept there. (Gen. 43:30)

I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint: my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels. (Psalm 22:14)

My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart; my heart maketh a noise in me; I cannot hold my peace, because thou hast heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war. (Jer. 4:19)

Is Ephraim my dear son? is he a pleasant child? for since I spake against him, I do earnestly remember him still: therefore my bowels are troubled for him; I will surely have mercy upon him, saith the LORD. (Jer. 31:20)

If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies... (Phil. 2:1)

For we have great joy and consolation in thy love, because the bowels of the saints are refreshed by thee, brother [Philemon]. (Philemon 1:7)

Whom [Onesimus] I [Paul] have sent again: thou [Philemon] therefore receive him, that is, mine own bowels: (Philemon 1:12)

But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? (I John 3:17)

So then. Assuming that Jeremiah wasn't suffering indigestion, Paul wasn't naming his colon "useful" and performing a first-century medical organ transport, and God is spirit, we can understand the depth of the meaning of this word for "tender mercies." David knows this too. In summary of the meaning of these words, David purposefully crescendos his cry: Mercy on me, Lord! As a father pities his children, so the LORD pities those that fear Him. The Lord is a stream of living water, proceeding from the face of God in His holy dwelling, rushing forth into the desert to cleanse and purge the Dead Sea, this filthy sinner's leprous heart. God, nothing less will do than the power of YOUR tender mercies. 

Blot out my transgressions
I do this all the time as a teacher of memory verses and names of God and other cool things on Thursdays. I use a white board; David and the king's men 3000 years ago used ... papyrus? stone slates? pottery shards? It doesn't matter. The ink they used lacked the acidic binding properties we add to our inks today, such that ink could merely be wiped away as easily as dry erase marker can be wiped away with a hand or rag. Blotting out, according to Spurgeon, is like cleaning a plate: "wipe it out, turn it upside down, and turn out all that is in it, sweep it away" (2). However, I like the analogy probably more suited for this penitent psalm: that of a courtroom. The analogy is the same Paul uses in Colossians 2: 13-15----

And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath He quickened together with Him [Christ], having forgiven you all trespasses; blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to His cross; and having spoiled principalities and powers, He made a shew of them openly, triumphing over them in it. 

David prays once again using language with which he doubtless was familiar-- he begs that the court writing be defaced, "that no record of it may ever appear against him: and this only the mercy, loving-kindness, and tender compassions of the Lord can do" (1). Calvin says something profound about the nature of David's request:

"Had he [David] prayed God to be favorable, simply according to His clemency or goodness, even that would have amounted to a confession that his case was a bad one; but when he speaks of his sin as remissable, only through the countless multitude of the compassions of God, he represents it as peculiarly atrocious. There is an implied antithesis between the greatness of the mercies sought for, and the greatness of the transgression which required them" (3).

David knows he is guilty. I like what Relient K says in Be My Escape (acoustic)

This life sentence that I'm serving
I admit that I'm every bit deserving
but the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.

Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
Spurgeon tells the reader to note: "Nothing about the punishment observe-- he [David] does not mention that. The true penitent, though he dreads punishment, much more dreads sin. It is sinfulness--sin that he would be delivered from" (2). John Calvin translated this verse in the literal Hebrew phrase: "multiply to wash me." He declares this to be an emphatic expression which carries the same meaning in English-- wash me thoroughly, over and over again (3). Like a person afflicted with OCD, David cries with Lady MacBeth "Out, damned spot!" He feels the weight and guilt and presence of his sin so deeply he calls for multiple washings to remove his stains (1). Ever write a note on your hand with a Sharpie?  Same idea.

However, this is not to downplay the power of God. Calvin warns against this, and provides a reasonable explanation the psalmist would write this: "Not as if God could experience any difficulty in cleansing the worst sinner, but the more aggravated a man's sin is, the more earnest naturally are his desires to be delivered from the terrors of conscience" (3).

Sin is filth and uncleanness. This picture needs no explanation given the extensiveness of God's commands in the Old Testament regarding uncleanness, but reminders haven't hurt for a while. The word for "hell" in Hebrew was a physical place in this life-- the valley at the base of the hill of Jerusalem. This place, the Hinnom Valley was where the scum and the garbage and the unclean people went to burn and rot and die. Furthermore, this meant that these people were banned from contact with the people of God or with the very presence of God.

Let us be estranged from sin lest our uncleanness estrange us from the presence of the Holy Spirit, which proceeds from the presence of God!

"This is a truth which should both commend the grace of God to us, and fill us with detestation of sin. Insensible, indeed, must that heart be which is not affected by it!" (3)

Foul, I to the fountain fly;
Wash me, Savior, or I die.


1. Clarke, Adam. Commentary on the Bible. 1831. Sacred-texts.com.
http://sacred-texts.com/bib/cmt/clarke/psa051.htm
2. Spurgeon, C. H. An Exposition: Psalm 51. 1999. The Reformed Reader. http://www.reformedreader.org/spurgeon/ex05.htm
3. Calvin, John. Commentary on Psalms, Vol. 2. 1999. Christian Classics Ethereal Library. http://www.biblestudyguide.org/ebooks/comment/calcom09.pdf

Sniff, sniff.

I just wrote for about 2 hours and hit Publish. Blogger is being lame. I'll just refresh the page-- it saves stuff automatically, right? I totally don't need to copy this to a Word document. Nah. That's just being paranoid.

WRONG.

But the content is most excellent. I guess I'll be re-writing much of it over the next few weeks. :(

Bleh.

It's about Psalm 51 and the song "God, Be Merciful To Me" (#486 in the red trinity hymnal). I'm excited enough to not give up on it. :)

Jesus is better than temperamental characters

This instance of God's sovereignty struck me tonight-- John 21 not only records Jesus's reinstatement of Peter (much like the reaffirmation of the Tabernacle's logistics!), but also Jesus's prediction of Peter and John's futures.

" 'Feed My sheep. Most assuredly, I say to you [Peter], when you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish.' This He [Jesus] spoke, signifying by what death [probably crucifixion] he [Peter] would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, 'Follow Me.' Then Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following, who also had leaned on His breast at the supper, and said, 'Lord, who is the one who betrays You?' Peter, seeing him, said to Jesus, 'But Lord, what about this man?' Jesus said to him [Peter], 'If I will that he [John] remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.' " 
-John 21: 19b-22

Jesus tells Peter here "It's not your place to decide how you'll die. It's not your place to decide how you'll serve Me. It's not your place to decide whether you survive the coming apocalypse and write Revelation or whether you minister to the Jews and write I and II Peter instead of I, II, III John and one of the accounts of My gospel. It also isn't your place to decide whether you follow Me or not; I prayed for you that your faith will not fail, and I reinstate you into the service of My kingdom."

 Let us be content and work diligently with the part written us, that we may sing with the Psalmist: "The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; Yes, I have a good inheritance." (Psalm 16:6)

BOR_Chapter 8: Middle School

Valley Christian Middle School was really a large turning point in my life in a few different, but related ways.

Firstly, my elementary years were very secluded and sheltered from all kinds of evil, and the pure statistical standpoint of broadening my horizons to include not close to 30 children, but close to 300 children could not possibly help to corroborate the way that Junior High would affect the mind of a skinny twelve year old Christian. Valley Christian Middle School was quite an environment shock of reality to me, but in hindsight, I can see God's gradual push to mature me through that experience. The weekly chapels were new to me, but the idea was not: my elementary had singing practice every day in the morning and afternoon, and every song we sang was in praise of our Father. The sports and P.E. were about the same [FSAE: Hah. I had no idea what I was talking about regarding P.E.], but the classes were frankly a waste of my time, and because both academics and sports were so easy during middle school, I began to slack off because I could, [coming from the strictness and academic rigor and excellence of my previous school].

A good thing was that I first began to see the other side of girls. Like my dad predicted, girls lost their "cooties." However, I'm still struggling today with the right approach towards women, (that is, with marriage as the ultimate goal [FSAE: of a more intimate relationship with a girl. Also, this struggle is still present in a far smaller amount, three years after High School. Very intuitive, Senior self!]) and back in middle school I was a total fool around girls. I mean, Laurel  Burkhart's mother still recognizes me as "that one kid who sprayed people with a hose that one time." I swear I can't remember [FSAE: I remember. It was for a STRIDE clean-up day.] what she's talking about, but I wouldn't argue too much; I may have been the one.

One of those weird best and worst things about Middle School is that it introduced me to "cliques," and I found the friends that I've kept for the past six years. They're great people, and I've watched them grow and mature alongside myself over the years, and I will definitely miss them when I don't return to their familiar faces next year. [FSAE: Word.]

I was never bullied in Junior High, but I do remember everybody calling me "High Pants," because I tucked my shirt in and wore a belt for the first few months of school, until I got sick of standing out. I don't know if it was a good thing to conform like that, but it sure saved a lot of hassle, and I don't think it did any harm other than lowering my resistance to further conformity; but a belt buckle wasn't worth dying over. [FSAE: grammatically correct: X wasn't something over which it would be worthy to die. Gross. Furthermore, in retrospect, it seems strange that long legs would be spotlighted at a majorly Dutch school.] I did like seeing how my older cousin, August Herrema [FSAE: now Ligtenberg], acted around her friends when she was in 8th grade. I looked up to her, as all 7th graders look up to the big bad 8th graders, and her integrity and consistency made me re-evaluate how I behaved when nobody was watching me.

The best thing about 8th grade was the way it prepared for leadership, and the way the 7th graders looked up to me made me realize the importance of innate leadership role of being the older brother meant, and that I needed to become a compassionate and loving big brother, not the feared privacy-invading and unforgiving "big brother" found in 1984. [FSAE: pop culture reference! I hadn't read the book, I haven't read the book, and it's not even on my long list. I guess I threw it in for brownie points, as these assignments weren't graded for content.] The discounted trips to Disneyland were a big hit for everybody too, and it gave an organized chance to spend time with friends at the happiest place on earth.

My Father is the God of providence. 

Jesus is better than "neural plasticity."

I like reading what Vicki Johnson has to say. She's got this nifty personality test result on her page which, along with her recent post about her re-taken test results being a little bit less introverted, made me want to re-take my own test by the same website. Those results should be floating somewhere on the right hand side of this page.

However, I noticed on the personality test, many of the statements/questions are false dichotomies. For example, a statement may read "I value... A) mercy B) justice." This statement is tough, because it's not a value-driven response to reply with one or the other. Truly the question should be "Which do you value MORE: mercy or justice?", for without one, you can't understand the other. Pastor Gorrell gave a great sermon this morning about Acts 2:37-41, citing John Calvin's sermons emphasizing the necessity of the conviction and grave realization of one's sin against a holy God for the sinner's repentance and His subsequent forgiveness to be true.

For the record, I choose mercy.

"Neural plasticity" is one of those super-cool and pretentious scientific phrases that psychologists like to throw around to sound legitimate. It's actually a real thing; I just like bashing psychology back into its place. (After all, psychology, being the "study of the soul," is a pretty obnoxiously arrogant effort, apart from the Word of God.) Neural plasticity is also one of those self-referential phrases like pedophile ("child-lover") or orthodox ("straight belief")-- "neural" refers to the neural system of the human body and "plasticity" refers to the flexibility of an object. Put together, this phenomenon is the changeability of the brain.

Neural plasticity also isn't about the changes children go through during puberty when their pre-frontal cortices develop, or about temporary changes from a bad cold or PMS or depression or a head-ache. Neural plasticity doesn't concern itself with the case of Phineas Gage, the American miner of the 19th century who survived having blown a hole through his brain in a terrible railroad-constructing accident and who subsequently and spookily changed his act from responsible and godly man to lamesauce angry bum. Neural plasticity is the slow and steady long-term change in a person's tastes, desires, attitudes, dreams, humor, among other things.

To throw in a cool example, the very first time I was turned on to this idea was not from a Psychology classroom, but from an awesome lady while in Prague. Mrs. Scipione travels with her husband George every year to work the soil of the Czech Republic by providing seminars and biblical counseling while George Scipione does the same and helps supply the pulpit. [They actually are inspirational to my goals of ministry!] These two were an absolute delight to be around. Mr. Scipione has such a quick wit with words, he'd always slip in one or two or even three puns in normal conversation and then don this huge grin while you were stuck trying to figure out what was missed. Mrs. Scipione said that this very trait of his that especially endeared him to me used to irk her, but that over time she decided to love it anyways. Now, she says, she's just as quick to return a volley of puns!

This plasticity of the brain is excellent--we're not tied down to any one thing. Biologically, mid-life crises that result in career changes are OKAY, because you can learn how to do something entirely different. The adage "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" might apply to canines, but God has bigger plans for us. And how blessed that He converts sinners not only for salvation in light of eternity, but also salvation in this life! This could go much farther philosophically, because one of the big topics of philosophy argues about one's personal identity-- if you're defined by your memories and actions and you're converted to Christ, are you a new person? But I'm not going to go there today.

The scary flip-side to neural plasticity is the fact that we're wired to be practicers. Everything you do makes you just a little bit better at doing just that. Reading comprehension, riding a bike without holding the handlebars, making coffee, singing, washing a car, doing laundry, or building a chair--doing any of these will make you more efficient. You never stop practicing.

This is sobering, because some of us (cough... me) don't have a Puritan work ethic of total productivity. It's sometimes hard to justify watching TV or a movie. But I need to remember that God gave us a day of rest: one in seven. Even still, my conscience binds me by reminding me that leisure time doesn't have to be spent in relaxation: even movies or TV shows or art exhibits or reading can be done thoughtfully, with a critical eye, in order to discern goodness, truth, and beauty. When, then, shall the mind rest? In sleep every night.

Jesus touches on this when He replies to the legalistic Pharisees trying to undercut Jesus' authority by calling Him the Son of Beelzebub by saying "O generation of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. A good man out of the good treasure of the heart brings forth good things; and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things." -Matthew 12:34-35

If "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks," then we must be careful what we intake and stew within our hearts, that our mouths may not become accustomed to speaking evilly.

But thanks be to God! This story has the most beautiful of endings. Though God made man to be changeable, his Master doesn't change.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today, and for ever. -Hebrews 13:8

"For I am the LORD, I change not. Therefore you sons of Jacob are not consumed." -Malachi 3:6

Praise my soul the King of heaven!
To His feet your tribute bring.
Ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven,
Who, like me, His praise should sing?
Praise Him, praise Him, praise Him, praise Him,
praise the everlasting King! (red #76)

Floods

Working at CCA makes me happy. Twice in the past week I got a biblical reference slapped in my face by snarky church elders. One of them found me before lunchtime setting up my classroom in the dark for Thursday's memory work, and he jokingly put on a very serious tone: "Joseph. You're a child of the light, and you work in the dark?" The other happened this morning. One of the bathrooms flooded the school building, but I missed it because I don't come in to teach until lunchtime. I told one of the elders I saw working to sponge up the remaining moisture from the carpets that it was very reminiscent of the time he and I had worked to sponge up the flood caused by leaky pipes at the hotel at which the Czech Republic English Camp was held this past year. He, staying in character, had a quick retort: "We were spared, but not because we were righteous!"

Non-sequitur:

"Storm" / Psalm 13 / "No Air" / Psalm 42 / "Praise You in the Storm"

how long have i been in this storm
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form? 
the water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head...

if i could just see You, everything would be all right;
if i'd see You this darkness would turn to light...
and i will walk on water.
and You will catch me when i fall.
and everything will be alright. 
-
how long will You forget me, O LORD? 
forever? 
how long will You hide Your face from me?
how long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily?
how long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
consider and hear me, O LORD my God: 
lighten my eyes, 
lest i sleep the sleep of death;
lest mine enemy say, "i have prevailed against him;"
and those that trouble me rejoice when i am moved.
but i have trusted in Your mercy;
my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. (13v1-5)
-
tell me how i'm supposed to breathe with no air. 
how do You expect me to live alone with just me?
my heart won't move, it's incomplete--
'cause my world revolves around You
it's so hard for me to breathe
with no air.

can't live, can't breathe with no air:
it's how i feel whenever You ain't there--
there's no air, no air!
You've got me out here in the water so deep!
if You ain't here, i just can't breathe--
there's no air, 
no air.
-
i know You didn't bring me out here to drown.
so why am i ten feet under and upside down?
barely surviving has become my purpose
'cause i'm so used to living underneath the surface.
-
as the deer pants after the water brooks, so pants my soul after You, O God. 
my soul thirsts for God, 
for the living God: 
when shall i come and appear before God?
my tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, 
"where is your God?"...
...deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterspouts:
all Your waves and Your billows are gone over me. (42v1-3,7)
-
my strength is almost gone;
how can i carry on
if i can't find You? 
as the thunder rolls
i barely hear You whisper through the rain:
"I'm with you."
as Your mercy falls,
i raise my hands to praise
the God who gives and takes away. 
-
everything is alright.
-
i will sing unto the LORD, because He has dealt bountifully with me. (13v6)
-
why are you cast down, O my soul?
and why are you disquieted in me?
hope in God: for i shall yet praise Him, the health of my countenance, and my God. (42v11)
-
i lift my eyes unto the hills;
where does my help come from?
my help comes from the Lord--
the Maker of heaven and earth. 
-
the LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, 
and in the night His song shall be with me,
and my prayer unto the God of my life. (42v8)

The Anchor holds.

Disclaimer: I'm using two fallible legends in this post. Definitely not kosher.

The high priest of Israel was the only one who was allowed to step within the curtain of the Holy of Holies. This allowance was also highly restrictive in the frequency--only once a year, on the Day of Atonement, on Yom Kippur.

"Now the LORD spoke to Moses after the death of the two sons of Aaron, when they had approached the presence of the LORD and died. The LORD said to Moses: 
'Tell your brother Aaron that he shall not enter at any time into the holy place inside the veil, before the mercy seat which is on the ark, or he will die; for I will appear in the cloud over the mercy seat." 
-Leviticus 16:1-2

Meeting in the presence, or more literally, "face," of the Lord is a somber thing. I do it every week when I go to church to worship and praise. According to John Calvin, the commandment of God to "be ye holy, for I am holy" sums up the theme of Leviticus and God's requirements of mankind, Christians especially. After all, we need redemption because we don't think God's thoughts after Him; we aren't good nor wise nor just nor true by nature any longer. Our godliness is lacking. Sin cannot stand in the face of God.

The high priest, the "kohen gadol," would enter the Holy of Holies with a rope tied around one of his ankles in order to drag him out if he should offer sacrifices improperly. If the high priest would sin and die, there would be no forgiveness for the sins of the people of the past year, and the people had to have a way to tug the dead guy out of the presence of the LORD. According to Hebrew4Christians.com, this is probably a medieval legend. Regardless, I like it.

Also according to the same website, the scapegoat (one of two goats selected in the worship of the Day of Atonement-- Leviticus 16) always had a scarlet rope tied around its neck that would turn white when it left the city of Jerusalem, which according to the Talmud stopped turning white in the forty years after the death of the Christ until the destruction of the temple in A.D. 70. Cool. I don't doubt it, as the symbolism of the sin not being atoned, yet remaining on the head of Jerusalem was a bitter promise foretold by the prophets and accepted by the high priest at the time of Christ who said "We have no king but Caesar."

But rest assured! What follows next you can quote in safety. Jesus is our anchor according to Hebrews 6:19-20, who rests INSIDE the Holy of Holies.

For men swear by one greater, and with them an oath as confirmation is an end of every dispute. In the same way God, desiring even more to show to the heirs of the promise the unchangeableness of His purpose, interposed with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have taken refuge would have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us. This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil, where Jesus has entered as a forerunner for us, having become a high priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek. 
-Hebrews 6:16-20

The Bible employs metaphors and symbols to help us men understand things. Can God change His mind? No. Can we really come before the "face" of God? Or what about His "rear," like Moses? Were the plagues of Egypt really done by the "pinky" of God? Will hell really be filled with worms? Will heaven be paved with gold?

So, what does an anchor do? An anchor is the only way a ship can sit still. According to my good friend in research, Mr. Shady Source / Know-It-All / Too-Many-Footnotes, anchors "achieve holding power either by 'hooking' into the seabed, or via sheer mass, or a combination of the two." What a blessed metaphor! Jesus, our anchor, does both of these things. He is "a hope both sure and steadfast," since He cannot be held by death and because He, like a greater son of David than Adonijah, holds fast to the mercy seat of God, where He looks into the "face" of God without being consumed, pleading for us as the great high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek. (Melchizedek counts as a real word! Adonijah doesn't, though.)

Back to the ankle-strap on the high priest. To carry the maybe-legend further, Jesus would have had no fear of failing to worship properly. Jesus, as our firm anchor, pulls us into the sanctuary, rather than the other way around. Jesus wouldn't sin, but we sure do. The curtain has been torn from the top down to the bottom, but our dwelling with God is sort of a "already-not yet" thing. We have the testimony of the Holy Spirit with the church, but we're not in paradise yet.

To end with a chiasm:
For the life of the flesh is in the blood,
and I have given it to you on the altar to make atonement for your souls;
for it is the blood by reason of the life that makes atonement.
-Leviticus 17:11

Labels

I like labels, however hurtful they may be. To some people, a label is an unfair and superfluous definition of a group or an individual. This is true. But on the other hand, labels are a superfluous definition of a group or an individual.

People say stereotypes exist for a reason. Psychology has taught me that we stereotype and then prejudge and finally discriminate between groups or individuals because stereotypes are like rules of thumb-- they might not always be true, but they are true often enough to believe them to be hard and fast rules. These things apply to adages as well as social classes as well as neighborhoods as well as racism.

"Birds of a feather flock together."
"Poor people are lazy."
"Long Beach is a ghetto."
"Asians are terrible drivers."
"Calvinists are joy-less jerks who don't want to evangelize."

However true these statements are, they're all useful. Labels are useful, even if their utility comes from a negative example and requires a willful determination to not judge a group or individuals.

Labels are useful to avoid making wrongful assumptions. Even though sometimes these labels aren't helpful or applicable, these labels help rule out other options.

"What a terrible driver! Must be an old grandma. Oh wait, he's just an Asian guy."

I could list many of the cons to labels, but I don't feel like being fair to the label-haters. I feel like there should be a label for that...

I'm just going to address two areas of life where labels are helpful to me: in religion and relationships. Actually, I just realized that political views are best summarized in certain vocabulary terms like Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Socialist, "progressive," "liberal," "conservative," and the like, BUT I don't care enough about my civil liberty and duty to nerd out about politics as I ought. Bad me. Political labels will have to wait for another day.

Religion: It's good to be able to label yourself when it comes to religion. After all, there are numerous sects of Christianity, and for the well-informed man, calling one's self a Methodist or a Reformed Baptist or a Catholic will grant much information about one's self in just a few syllables. The well-informed man may figure out your eschatology (the end times), your view on soteriology (salvation), and how grave you believe the human condition is as a result of the fall. He can guess your belief or denial of the sovereignty of God, the covenants of God, and the triunity of God.

[Sidebar: I guess it's good to label one's self as accurately as possible when it comes to other religions too. I've a good idea of my audience, and I'm definitely not a "well-informed man" even in the Christian circles, much less in those of Mormon or Islamic or Jewish or Sikhist, etc. circles. I'm just going to rant about Christians and the many persons' distastes for labels.]

In my first year at UC Irvine, I was looking for a new church home. I was a fool. I was living in a room 25 miles away from home and only 40 from my home church. Yet I was following the advice of the pastors of my Timothy Conference just the year before who told me to find a new church to call home, that I would be able to serve in a new way, to exploit and scheme how best I could be of service.

Nothing changed; I came home every weekend to remember how to do laundry and to worship at Branch that year.

But even still, as I was scouting the churches listed on the announcement card my Bible study gives out every Wednesday, I couldn't help but notice that the church that most of the people from that Bible study attended was going without a label. Eventually I understood that, though heavily influenced by the Reformation and its doctrines, the pastors and congregation of this unnamed-church generally held to a Baptist view of God's covenant when it comes to the salvation of children. Maybe I'm just lazy, but that sort of information doesn't need to be hidden from the public. If you believe with the strongest conviction that the Bible teaches that one's children must make a credible and public confession of faith in order to be received of Jesus, then don't be shy about it. Besides, part of the joy of being part of a denomination is the great fellowship across churches. Maybe that's just a Baptist problem of exclusion.

Relationships: It's important to not dismiss labels in relationships. I'm referring mainly to the special sort of relationship between a man and woman, but let's touch briefly on other familial names and labels. Things aren't right when a person refuses the labels of father, mother, husband, wife, son, daughter, brother, sister, friend, teacher, student, et cetera. Perhaps it's shame that stops the label from being applied, as in the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15. Perhaps it's ignorance of the God-ordained importance and gravity and blessing of being "man and wife" that disallows a young couple to label themselves.

Well, that didn't cover nearly as many relationships I thought I would. But that's alright. On the topic of labeling persons who're (That contraction probably shouldn't be used...) who are "in a relationship" according to Facebook: these sorts of labels, verbal or Facebook-indicative, are very helpful for colloquial brothers and sisters. Whether Christian or not, it's good to know whether a guy has laid dibs on a girl, to put it crudely. It's more of a concern for Christians to know who's interested in whom so that appropriate chaperoning and encouragement could spirit the couple along.

My beef is with persons in relationships who, for some reason unbeknownst to me, don't want to take that title. I doubt it's shame; love has a penchant for not hiding the truth and telling it on the mountains. I can't believe it's ignorance, unless it's a one-sided crush. So why? Maybe I'm overlooking something.

Labels prevent misunderstandings. For example, if a guy and girl are sharing a cup in a scenario where no lack of cups is, it's safe to assume they're 1) related, 2) dating, 3) totally interested in dating but haven't decided to actually take an official label, or 4) doing some weird science experiment.
In conclusion: labels are a double-edged sword. They're great for saving time and making quick judgments (Soft fruit = ripe fruit); they're bad and hurtful when the judgments are false (white = racist). Labels divulge information to the person who understands what different labels mean. Labels clear up confusion as to whether a person is a Baptist or is in a relationship. Wait a second...

Jesus is better than my passive-aggressive tendencies.

Last Saturday was a day of surprise. I got to sleep in until 9:45 when the combination of my sweat, my cat's croaks, and my mother calling me inside the house roused me. "Whew," thoughts I. "Let's have a day of rest from work!" says I.

NOPE. (That's reserved for Sunday.)

Weeds must be pulled and plants must be watered. But what's a weed but a plant in the wrong place, performing the wrong function? Perhaps we'll be weeding in heaven...

"I'm home from yoga!" says my umma, and we're off to shop for a gift for her old boss's wife's birthday party. [She likes to cram birthday stuff for the last minute. Actually, make that anything that involves writing a card. Huh.] While we're there, I found a nice pair of shorts to replace my bloody ones.

Story time! I'm a teacher now. I thought I'd have more facial hair before people would call me Mr. Pollard, but God had different plans for me. Anyways, one of the Kindergarteners to whom I am teaching P.E. developed an intense nose-bleed at the end of class. She doesn't speak many English words, and she didn't understand that pressure was her remedy. Her cure was crying loudly and rubbing her bloody hands all over her face. In my attempts to wipe her face, apply pressure, and keep the other 11 kids in control, she bled on me. End story. (Though the rest of the kids immediately quieted and grew somber when they saw her bloody face. Huh. Interesting...)

While my mom drove us over to Kohls, I was reminded of one of my terrible tendencies. I tend to become really passive-aggressive when I'm irked. This needs to stop. It's really immature of me to clam up and refuse to address problems, especially since I see this problem corrupting loads of relationships left and right.

I was reminded tonight of one important thing pertaining to this: being aggressively passive isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it takes much willpower to restrain one's self from judging a person immediately for wrongdoing. Sometimes it takes time to heal wounds, and early attempts to reconcile would be ineffective.
Sometimes, as I quickly remember almost every time I start teaching, you have to pick the metaphorical hills you'd die upon (upon which you'd die). It's ok to let some things slide sometimes, your honor, Judge OCD. Like correcting other people's improper grammar usages. (Really? I thought usages was spelled "useages." Now it just looks too patriotic. Ahem. It's probably accurate to connect "improper grammar" with Americans. [I totally kept typing "gramma" instead of grammar right there. Also, "Americans" isn't really that accurate. I'm a Californian and a citizen of the United States of America.] Or... courtesy. Or how soon is kosher to reply to text messages or e-mails before it becomes rude. Or how simple passivity is the best way to allow a friendship to dissolve. It is good to be passive about displaying disgust, despair, unlawful or overexaggerated anger, or greed. Sometimes it's tactful and wise to remain silent and quiet. More of my musings on this topic.

Will & Rick invited me out for a night on the town. MY town of Long Beach. I'm often reminded by nights like these of how little I know of things, even my own hometown. We had fish tacos and garden salads with thick raspberry vinaigrette, and salmon. Everything divided nicely into three's that we joked that the owners of Gladstone's must be trinitarians. Our nightly conversation consisted: the lawfulness of cigarettes vs. cigars, tattoos, incense-burning in church, Wheaton University and its professors, Roger Wagner (pastor of Bayview OPC in Chula Vista), my thorny friend, archery, the appropriateness of vibrams in steak houses, the covenants of God, and the TV show Arrested Development which was filming certain scenes for the 4th season on Long Beach's Pike "Whale-watching" pier.

That was a bit irrelevant. I just like those two guys enough to throw a shout-out for them. Read their bloggings, reader!

Now, to get to the real point, this is where Jesus demonstrates that He's better than my passive-aggressive tendencies: He's the ultimate example of picking the right hill to die on. Though I can't tell you why He would, He was carted out of the city, to the place of meeting, where God met His people at the tabernacle and where the scapegoat was released, to die on a hill named Golgotha (that is, the Place of the Skull), reminiscent of the triumphal march of a Roman general, where He paid retail price for my sins. It blows me away.

Here's the kicker, though. Jesus was aggressively passive when He was being crucified!

Jesus's work is often divided by theologians into two categories: active and passive obedience to the law of God. The active obedience was accomplished when Jesus purposefully fulfilled the law and obeyed the authorities over Him, honored His parents, sanctified the Sabbath, and feared the LORD with His whole heart, soul, and strength, to name a few. Jesus was passively obedient when He was tried by a false-priest Pilate, condemned by the Jews, slain by the Romans by the wayside, hung between His best men: robbers, buried in a Jewish tomb, sanctified the Sabbath by resting a full day after Good Friday, and rose again from the dead on the feast of firstfruits. This passivity must have been unbearable, since Jesus even claimed to have more than twelve legions of angels at His prayed command (Matthew 26:53).

"No man takes [my life] from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again.
This commandment have I received from My Father." -John 10:18

This is all I require to remember that Jesus is better than my passive-aggressive tendencies. 

"Strength and Decency," by Theodore Roosevelt

This is a new beginning for me, teaching physical education to children. To celebrate, I present to You, o Reader of my heart, the words of a strong man made wise by Your words.
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I am particularly glad to see such a society as this [the Society of the Holy Name of Brooklyn and Long Island] flourishing as your society has flourished, because the future welfare of our nation depends upon the way in which we can combine in our men -- in our young men -- decency and strength. Just this morning when attending service on the great battleship Kearsarge I listened to a sermon addressed to the officers and enlisted men of the navy, in which the central thought was that each American must be a good man or he could not be a good citizen. And one of the things dwelt upon in that sermon was the fact that a man must be clean of mouth as well as clean of life-- must show by his words as well as by his actions his fealty to the Almighty if he was to be what we have a right to expect from men wearing the national uniform. We have good Scriptural authority for the statement that it is not what comes into a man's mouth but hat goes out of it that counts [for cleanliness/goodliness]. I am not addressing weaklings, or I should not take the trouble to come here. I am addressing strong, vigorous men, who are engaged in the active hard work of life; and  life to be worth living must be a life of activity and hard work. I am speaking to men engaged in the hard, active work of life, and therefore to men who will count for good or for evil. 

It is peculiarly incumbent upon you who have strength to set a right example to others. I ask you to remember that you cannot retain your self-respect if you are loose and foul of tongue, that a man who is to lead a clean and honorable life must inevitably suffer if his speech likewise is not clean and honorable. Every man here knows the temptations that beset all of us in this world. At times any man will slip. I do not expect perfection, but I do expect genuine and sincere effort toward being decent and cleanly in thought, in word, and in deed. As I said at the outset, I hail the work of this society as typifying one of those forces which tend to the betterment and uplifting of our social system. Out whole effort should be toward securing a combination of the strong qualities with those qualities which we term virtues. I expect you to be strong. I would not respect you if you were not. I do not want to see Christianity professed only by weaklings; I want to see it a moving spirit among men of strength. I do not expect you to lose one particle of your strength or courage by being decent. On the contrary, I should hope to see each man who is a member of this society, from his membership in it become all the fitter to do the rough work of the world; all the fitter to work in time of peace; and if, which may Heaven forfend, war should come, all the fitter to fight in time of war. I desire to see in this country the decent men strong and the strong men decent, and until we get that combination in pretty good shape we are not going to be by any means as successful as we should be. There is always a tendency among very young men and among boys who are not quite young men as yet to think that to be wicked is rather smart; to think it shows that they are men. Oh, how often you see some young fellow who boasts that he is going to "see life," meaning by that that he is going to see that part of life which it is a thousandfold better should remain unseen! I ask that every man here constitute himself his brother's keeper by setting an example to that younger brother which will prevent him from getting such a false estimate of life. Example is the most potent of all things. If any one of you in the presence of younger boys, and especially the younger people of our own family, misbehave yourself, if you use coarse and blasphemous language before them, you can be sure that these younger people will follow your example and not your precept. It is no use to preach to them if you do not act decently yourself. You must feel that the most effective way in which you can preach is by your practice. 

As I was driving up here a friend who was with us said that in his experience the boy who went out into life with a foul tongue was apt so to go because his kinsfolk, at least his intimate associates, themselves had foul tongues. The father, the elder brothers, the friends, can do much toward seeing that the boys as they become men become clean and honorable men. 

I have told you that I wanted you not only to be decent, but to be strong. These boys will not admire virtue of a merely anaemic type. They believe in courage, in manliness. They admire those who have the quality of being brace, the quality of facing life as life should be faced, the quality that must stand at the root of good citizenship in peace or in war. If you are to be effective as good Christians you must possess strength and courage, or your example will count for little with the young, who admire strength and courage. I want to see you, the men of the Holy Name Society, you who embody the qualities which the younger people admire, by your example give those young people the tendency, the trend, in the right direction; and remember that this example counts in many other ways besides cleanliness of speech. I want to see each young fellow able to do a man's work in the world, and of a type which will not permit imposition to be practiced upon him. I want to see him too strong of spirit to submit to wrong, and, on the other hand, ashamed to do wrong to others. I want to see each man able to hold his own in the rough work of actual life outside, and also, when he is at home, a good man, unselfish in dealing with wife, or mother, or children. Remember that the preaching does not count if it is not backed up by practice. There is no good in your preaching to your boys to be brace if you run away. There is no good in your preaching to them to tell the truth if you do not. There is no good in your preaching to them to be unselfish if they see you selfish with your wife, disregardful of others. We have a right to expect that you will come together in meetings like this; that you will march in processions; that you will join in building up such a great and useful association as this; and, even more, we have a right to expect that in your own homes and among your own associates you will prove by your deeds that yours is not a lip-loyalty merely; that you show in actual practice the faith that is in you. 

Dichotomies

A dichotomy is pitting one thing against another. Two things. No more, no less. One or the other. Ain't no option C.

I like dichotomies. The problem with them is that they are often false. A false dichotomy is a problem with one of the lines of reasoning, or (usually) that truly a third option exists yet out of the thinker's grasp which best sums up the possibilities of a situation.

Here's a good example of a false dichotomy.

Assuming "a god-force" created the universe, humans exist.
Humans are wicked, as a result of something.
This earth, as a result, is full of corruption.

If this "god" is powerful, why does he not stop the evils?
If this "god" is merciful, why doesn't he try or seem to want to? 

(Actually, I don't like that one. It fails too easily, and I can't really distinguish the two options.)

I'll just use the "Problem of Sin" as an example instead.

a. Assuming the Christian viewpoint of creation, life, the universe, and everything,
b. GOD is almighty
c. and loving.
d. Sin exists.

The un-believer concludes that either
1. God ain't all powerful, since sin and the effects of the fall obviously aren't contained to this day (snort.) OR
2. God ain't all good, since a good God would want to clean up ALL the messes and stop ALL bad things, right?
when really the third option is the best fit with reality:
3. GOD Almighty is strong and loving, therefore He has a good and powerful reason for sin to be. 

Kofola

I miss the Czech Republic. The smells, the feel of cobblestones under bare feet, the taste of beer, hunting wild boars (Mongolian style!), and teaching little kids about Jesus are a few of the things I miss.

But I miss the people too: the kids and their parents and the strange old man who's tanner than most black guys I know and always walks around with super short shorts, even in the snowing winter. They're all full of heartache. Even (especially?) the Christians.

At the "Missions in the Czech Republic" presentation given at Branch of Hope this past Sunday evening, Mr. and Mrs. Farnik told us just how desperately needy their country is. He told us there are about 80-90 Reformed Christians. Total. That's less than Westminster OPC's congregation.

Maybe it was the Tylenol and Theraflu I took, or maybe it was the mission presentation + English Camp application, or maybe it was just heartache that I dreamt a short dream about the Czech Republic last night.

I came to in a shop along the busy tourist-trap area beyond Charles Bridge. You know, one of those ones with the things hanging on the wall at head height? Well, instead of hats or chess sets or beer mugs or whatever, they were taps. For beer or kofola or coca-cola or whatever. Not water-- too expensive. Anyways, maybe I was applying for a job there, because I kept asking the owner questions, en anglecky, because I kept forgetting my functional Czech vocabulary. I really wanted a drink of kofola, though...

I'm finishing my English Camp application, but I haven't the slightest idea on how to teach English. I'm going to have to send another request to my church's session, because we transferred our membership. The way we transferred seems a lot like how my parents got divorced. A lot of zipping the lip and paperwork and awkwardness.