Appropriate Triumph

I haven't written here in a while, O reader, because finals have crept up on me, I've made an unsuccessful pact to cease my time-wasting activities, re-read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, written 12 encouragement notes, and I was stressing over my Fall '13 course registration.

In reverse order,
1. I got 3 of the 4 classes I tentatively laid out for myself. The fourth was labeled "Major-only," and, being an introductory Statistics course, would have probably bored me to tears. No, not tears; despairing sleep. I instead picked up an introductory Linguistics course which fulfills the same G.E. requirement, Math ("quantitative, symbolic, and computational reasoning"), of all things. I'm very pleased with God's plan and my stupid oversight in my first tentative schedule.
1b. This also means I PROBABLY HAVE A JOB. TEACHING. KIDS. What? I've resolved to follow Mr. Manzo's advice and play the bad cop first, and gradually show my soft and fluffy side. Hah. Right. I've also resolved that I will develop and encourage healthy work ethics, to show the kids that all the exercise is beneficial, and thus doubly exciting. Lastly, I've resolved to participate in any physical punishment I dole.

2. I might get the chance to serve on Inreach next year. This is exciting, because it is exhausting work to be a good friend.

3. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone read much like a foggy memory a senior Harry Potter would recall for his grandchildren: very systematic and thesis-driven, with only selective events recorded to provide background. It was very simple, yet profound. I like it.

4. I'm not a very disciplined person. I think that having Mondays off in the Fall quarter will be a trial, but I am determined to succeed in purposeful productivity.

5. Finals. Yes.
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The short prefacing tangent: Whenever I type the VERY LONG name of this blog into my link bar thingy, I need only type "streamsof" before Google Chrome says "ENOUGH. I know what you're thinking!" Anyways, this makes me always start singing the melody of the second line of the first verse of "Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing" in a low voice.

Streams of mercy, never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise. 


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In my LSD Psych class today, we covered Pride and Shame as functions of human self-awareness and personality and development and all sorts of other fancy fun words. Here's the specific quote I'd like to biblically analyze:

"Triumph is acceptable after winning a tennis match, but not after winning an argument."


"Hmm," says I. "Shouldn't winning an argument be more worthy of triumph? After all, (individual) physical sports are won by mastery of skill through intentional practice, mastery of self through training, and sheer luck which compensates and causes upsets. An argument, debate-style, is won by mastery of subject knowledge through study and.... Oh." I realized then that logical arguments are not "won," for subjective material has only relative value (thus superiority or inferiority) to an objective standard.

[I would not start mocking and jeering at a "defeated" evangelee (for, if all but the stupid stubbornness of a sin-filled heart is accounted for, the gospel is the most logical, reasonable, and truthful account of all things), for I would not have "won" by my own merit. Rather, I would triumph with the angels that another lost lamb was restored by God, that another coin bearing God's likeness was redeemed, and that a dead son has refreshed his senses by God's Spirit.]

An argument is not "won" based on extrinsic things, such as a charismatic voice, ad hominem attacks, debating skill, or extensive personal knowledge of one's side; an argument is won based on the intrinsic value of its truth. There is a correct side to many "hot-topic" debates today. Abortion? Gay Marriage? Taxes? Education? War? Or how about baptism? Church membership/discipline? Eschatology?

Unfortunately, even if I had ample time, I couldn't answer all of these completely or thoroughly. I ought to study, knowing that these debates do have winners and losers, and most importantly that Jesus is the winner.

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Ah! I just remembered. I had a weird dream.

I was beginning to evangelize to someone in Aldrich Park in UCI, but as I was prefacing my presentation of the gospel with an apologetic based on the history of the world and on my own intentions, I found my words becoming more jumbled and gargled. Soon I couldn't hardly speak. I reached into my mouth and pulled out my retainers, and then I woke up. Bah.
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Toast.

You should watch this video, reader. And you should read the Hunger Games trilogy, noting the meta-narrative of a post-modern telling of the gospel: the entrance into Egypt, exodus from, and wandering in the wilderness, all in just three acts.

http://www.hogwartsprofessor.com/taylor-swift-mtv-hunger-games-inspired-music-video/

I like Taylor Swift. 

"I'm walking"

Those two words, three if we don't count the contraction, have come to mean much more to me in the past year. They could imply a resignation and exit of a character from my life. They could mean a thoughtful midnight stroll, when mustard seeds and reclaimed waste water combine to create just the right atmosphere for good thinking, provided you wear a windbreaker jacket; Irvine grows windy at night. This phrase has most recently taken on the nuance of graduation/commencement. And properly, a graduation ceremony is called by both names. I approve. But I will miss the seniors who are exiting my life, for they must move on, though I have spent so little time with them. I am sure Calvin feels the same way, and it won't be long before he will face the carpet in a silly gown and ceremoniously flip his tassels.

On a different note, Coldplay covered Rihanna's "We Found Love." What? Here's the link. I've decided I like Coldplay's rendition better than the original or other covers, because Coldplay is pleasing to my ears, and the others aren't. Except... Tiffany Alvord's cover mashes it with the Beatles' "Here Comes The Sun!" Argh! I'm so torn!

You know you're exceedingly blessed when your greatest cares in the world are how quickly you can drive a car 25 miles throughout finicky traffic situations. 

A critique of the highlights of my studies, part 1:

Some practical life advice from the bowels of a finicky, short, attractive Italian writing teacher follows. Take it or leave it. Taken from Tarah Scalzo's class, Writing 39C: Defining Success, section 25322
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-NO QUESTION MARKS IN YOUR ESSAYS.
-Don't use "one may blah, blah, blah..." constructions in hypothetical statements. They are too broad and impersonal. Once per five pages is allowable.
-If you get upset while writing, post a rant blog and return to the essay with the facts. Don't let rhetoric cloud your judgment; instead, simply point to the scoreboard and state facts.
-Don't shy away from new complications to a person's biography even if these complications require tailoring a deeper and richer thesis.
-Don't be passive.
-Think of an essay like a spiraling optical illusion with the thesis being the center point the viewer focuses upon. All the rest of your body paragraphs simply flesh out the story and provide outer rings that point and lead back to the thesis. Treat each paragraph as a separate essay, remembering to maintain connection and a forward momentum.
-It's NEVER smooth sailing. Find the bumps and animals hiding in each person's life. In Hemingway's Old Man In The Sea, there were animals below his boat that ate his prized catch. There are always things swimming under your subject's boat.
-Don't get called out for apathy or ignorance! Be authoritative and STUDY UP!
-Talk to a librarian!
-Don't lose momentum! 

The guests invited to the Lord's Supper

'He gate it to the disciples, and said, Take, eat.' The sacrament is children's bread. If a man makes a feast, he calls his friends. Christ calls his disciples; if he had any piece better than another, he carves it to them. 

'There is no room for more shades' (Horace). [a shade was a guest not invited by the host but brought by some other guest of importance as one of his party, aka-- a "+1" in our slang]

'This is my body which is given for you' (Luke 22:19). That is, for you 'pistoi', believers. (πιστοι) Christ gave his body and blood to the disciples chiefly under this notion, as they were believers. As Christ poured out his prayers (John 17), so his blood, only for believers; see how near to Christ's heart all believers lie! Christ's body was broken on the cross, and his blood shed for them. 'The election has obtained it' (Rom. 11:7). Christ has passed by others, and died intentionally for them [believers]. 

Impenitent sinners have no benefit by Christ's death, unless a short reprieve. Christ is given to the wicked in wrath. He is 'a rock of offence' (I Pet. 2:8). The blood of Christ is like chemical drops of oil, which recover some patients, but kill others. Judas sucked death from the Tree of Life. God can turn stones into bread, and a sinner can turn bread into stones; the Bread of Life into the stone of stumbling.
--Watson, Thomas. 15 (The Lord's Supper)

The first days of Spring Quarter 2011

In the quiet stillness of the first days,
Your lovingkindness, Father, guides my ways.
Your love turns ashen hands to upward praise
Your love that stoops to keep a reed from death.

Out of the darkness, You command "Light, Be!"
And my eyes, now open, see the bloody tree
And the Man who obeyed Your good decree
And from His bloody hands I find my breath.

"If we would come rightly prepared to the sacrament [of the Lord's Supper] we must come with humble hearts. We see Christ humbling himself to the death; and will a humble Christ ever be received into a proud heart? ... A sight of God's glory, and a sight of sin, may humble us. Was Christ humble, who was all purity? And are we proud, who are all leprosy? Oh, let us come with a sense of our own vileness. How humble should he be who is to receive an alms of free grace! 

Jesus Christ is a 'lily of the valleys' (Song of Sol. 2:1), not of the mountains. Humility was never a loser. The emptier the vessel is, and the lower it is let down into the well, the more water it draws up; so the more the soul is emptied of itself, and the lower it is let down by humility, the more it fetches out of the well of salvation. God will come into a humble heart to revive it (Isa. 57:15). That is no part of Christ's temple which is not build with a low roof.

(The Lord's Supper, Thomas Watson, 50)

A manly revolution...

... are the only words besides "Romans 12:1" on the only graphic tee-shirt I choose to wear. And it's true, insofar as (in our culture) the words "manly" and "masculine" have taken on the nuance of "stand alone, army strong, stem the tide, brace the storm, don't give in, don't conform."

THEREFORE I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable, and perfect. 
Romans 12:1-2 (NASB)


One of my Psychology classes is entitled "The Social Animal," which is drawn from Plato's calling man "the social animal." Social Psychology looks at society's role in producing certain behaviors; Personality Psychology looks at how an individual (or type of individual/group) will act across various situations. There's this cool matrix, which unfortunately bashes on Sarah Palin, that demonstrates this difference, which I'll try to paste here...

Yay! It worked! 

ANYWAYS. 

There's this guy named Festinger. Horrible name. He came up with an idea as to why people conform, and in 1954 coined it as the "Social Comparison Theory." According to my professor, Festinger says that "people have a need to evaluate their abilities and opinions, but they have few 'objective' standards, so they compare themselves to others." Opinion uniformity enables social quiescence; no opinion uniformity is unstable and violent/radical change would be immanent for one's own/the other's opinion(s), or else the group will lose dissenting members. 

Heaven forbid people disagree! *sarcasm

So why do people conform to normative social influence? According to social psychology, "we want others to believe as we do because that is the only way we know we are right!" (italics mine) 

[Perhaps I'm being too harsh; the professor who teaches this class is fresh meat; this is his very first class. But then perhaps it is a flaw in the content, and not the form of the rhetoric, for this teacher does a great job of managing the classroom. He knows how to work lighting, timing, appropriate videos, humor, and examples to grasp an audience's attention. But then again, perhaps I'm only partial to him because he looks like Ted Moseby from the CBS show "How I Met Your Mother." But then again, if he's not a Christian, then where else will the children of men turn to for knowledge but the best philosophy of the time, humanism?]

I will be harsh on this next point without remorse or regret, for Professor Mastronarde then used the Crusades as an example, a deviation from the more-common social-psychology favorite of the Nazi officers. He stated: "The more important the belief, the more emotion is associated with the need for opinion uniformity." Ok. I'm not condoning the crusades, but the "everybody else is doing it, so it must be right" argument can hardly be accurately applied to religious warfare. Greater motivators were fear of excommunication (for the Christians) or fear of death/rape/plundering/territorial loss (for the Muslims). I highly doubt either side's soldiers had mid-combat doubts as to the veracity of their respective causes, religious or political, nor of fears of ridicule or social punishment for disagreement or abandonment. 

[Though perhaps I ought to be more compassionate; our American culture (fallaciously) attributes emotion to religion, and vice versa. He is merely following suit.]

[SUPER COOL SIDEBAR. "Ought" comes from the Greek word for "owe." (ώφελοv) That is why it carries more weight than "should."]

Carrying onward, digging himself deeper in debt, Prof. Mastronarde said "Social influence is important and powerful because almost all knowledge is socially-derived." 

If by "socially-derived" he had meant that a person learns primarily through listening to instruction, watching demonstration, or observing persons and behavior and how they relate across different paradigms (see chart above), then I'd be cool with that. But because he instead meant that almost all knowledge, as in: the stuff you know to be true, is derived from observing reactions to behavior (yours and that of other people), my professor sins in his assertion. You don't form core beliefs based on subjective opinions. Your worldview is not open to popular vote, or some Gallup poll. Relativism does not breed truth.

Boast no more so very proudly,

Do not let arrogance come out of your mouth;

For the LORD is a God of knowledge, 

And with Him actions are weighed.

-1 Samuel 2:3 NASB (Hannah's song of thanksgiving)

Wherefore do the wicked live, become old, yea, are mighty in power? 

---

They spend their days in wealth, and in a moment go down to sheol. 

Therefore they say unto God, Depart from us; for we desire not the knowledge of your ways.

-Job 21:7,13-14 KJV

Suffer me a little, and I will show you that I have yet to speak on God's behalf.
I will fetch my knowledge from afar, and will ascribe righteousness to my Maker.
For truly my words shall not be false: He that is perfect in knowledge is with you [Job]. 
---
And if they [the righteous kings] be bound in fetters, and be holden in cords of affliction;
Then He shows them their work, and their transgressions that they have exceeded.
He opens also their ear to discipline, and commands that they return from iniquity.
If they obey and serve Him, they shall spend their days in prosperity, and their years in pleasures.
But if they obey not, they shall perish by the sword, and they shall die without knowledge.
But the hypocrites in heart heap up wrath: they cry not when He binds them.
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Behold, God exalts by His power: who teaches like Him?
Who has enjoined Him His way? or who can say, "You have done iniquity"?
Remember that you [Job] magnify His work, which men behold.
Every man may see it; man may behold it afar off.
-Job 36:2-4, 8-13, 22-25 KJV (in context of Elihu's "prosperity gospel" advice)


The thesis of the proverbs of God, written by kings:
to know wisdom and instruction,
to discern the sayings of understanding,
to receive instruction in wise behavior, 
righteousness, justice and equity;
to give prudence to the naive,
to the youth: knowledge and discretion,
a wise man will hear and increase in learning, 
and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel,
to understand a proverb and a figure,
the words of the wise and their riddles:


The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
-Proverbs 1:2-7


My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.
Because you have rejected knowledge,
I also will reject you from being My priest.
Since you have forgotten the law of your God,
I also will forget your children. 
-Hosea 4:6


The gospel requires knowledge, and what is knowledge besides know-able truths, and what is truth besides the Word of God?

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the one an aroma from death to death, to the other an aroma from life to life. And who is adequate for these things? 
-2 Corinthians 2:14-16


(Paul actually answers his question in 2:17-3:6, but I've fallen in love with Colossians, so here's the plug:)

For I want you [Colossian church] to know how great a struggle I have on your behalf and for those who are at Laodicea, and for all those who have not seen my face in the flesh, that their hearts may be encouraged, having been knit together in love, and attaining to all the wealth of the full assurance of understanding, resulting in a true knowledge of God's mystery, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I say this so that no one will delude you with persuasive argument. 
-Colossians 2:1-4


"Sanctify them [Christians] in the truth; Your word is truth."
-John 17:17


In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
-John 1:1


"I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes unto the Father, but by Me."
-John 14:6

There I go; turn the page.

Life keeps spinning at a dizzying pace, and God's plan unfolds daily above our vision. My grandmother was let out of surgery this morning around 11, and Calvin and I walked over to burden her with our problems and worries. The first team bound for Haiti leaves tomorrow night, with my dear thorn practicing pronunciation differences between "e" sounds influenced by French and Spanish. I'd explain them as eta (ay-ta) and epsilon (ehp-silon), but he doesn't know Greek; instead he knows Latin. Equally as valuable for understanding medical terminology and proper grammatical English, I guess Latin doesn't have two "e" vowels. Mi-verbs are the bane of my existence. I might have a job this fall; I may not continue my studies in Greek prose. My classes look like I could get Mondays off, besides fitting work with the children into the equation. Divorce is stupid. "Just make sure you find the right girl, Joseph, and stick with her!" Where there is equal fault, there are equal consequences. Bloody noses are good reminders of my fragility.

[Money is a good thing; only do not set your heart upon it. Seek first the kingdom of God... What an abstract statement. The kingdom comes; God's will is being done. What is God's will for you, O believer, but that you are a faithful servant with all that you seek to grasp for the Lord, like a soldier conquering enemy lands for his king? We are unworthy slaves to an omni-benevolent Despot who deigned to extend pardoning blood, to clasp Love to the loveless, when He already had multiple claims of authority as Creator, Ruler, and Sustainer. Yet He desired that His lambs not wander long without a shepherd, but that He would become Redeemer and Restorer.


In the economy of mercy, I'm a poor and begging man; 
in the currency of grace is where my song begins. 
In the colors of Your goodness, in the scars that mark Your skin, 
in the currency of grace is where my song begins. 
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Money! get away, get a good job with more pay, and you're okay. 
Money! it's a gas, grab that cash with both hands and make a stash. 
Money! get back, I'm all right, Jack, keep your hands off of my stack. 
Money! it's a hit, don't give me that do goody-good bullshit.
Money! it's a crime, share it fairly, but don't take a slice of my pie.
Money! so they say, is the root of all evil today. 


If I had more money, I'd use it in a "Psych" experiment as I go random evangelizing around campus. "What makes it more painful if I rip this 20 dollar bill in half than if I rip this 1 dollar bill? Which would you rather have?" In a society with value spent on paper with different colors of ink and different numerals written in the corners, we sure have a pretty good idea of abstract concepts. These don't exist in a purely physical world. Game point. If you're more than a body, you know that you are more than a grown fetus. Because a physical Grand Creation is a given, a Grand Spiritual Creation must have happened. Minds and souls don't evolve from nothing. #returningtothegoldstandard]

Blargh. I think I have insomnia when I have a cold. I have a cold. I have insomnia. I would go for a run, but I did that last night in my Vibrams for the first time, and my calves are killing me after two miles. Two miles! My friends would just give me this "Tsk tsk, Pollard," face.

I've resolved to have a certain conversation, but why I keep delaying the inevitable I've chalked up to various good reasons that keep suggesting that I'm just procrastinating.

["Just" is a good word. It has a lot of meanings: it could be the adjectival form of justice, or the adverb meaning either "merely" or "recently."]

Yet the conversation will happen; I will not forget nor delay what must be done.

Sleep-deprived poetry:

It's harder to see the flaws and faults
when mine own hands dance the waltz,
for feet may step and hearts fly
whilst strangers smile, eye to I.

Forbidden dance, this group of threes
makes joy between my tyrannies,
and if I feel the rhythm right,
my eyes you will not see tonight.

Good night, God's night. Blessed be the Morning Star, the Sun of righteousness. 

BOR_Chapter 5: Describe your town.

I live in Long Beach, California. As Long Beach is a rather large portion of Greater Los Angeles County, I think it would be best to explain a little more than usually just about my neighborhood's location rather than where I live.

California Heights, the name of my neighborhood, is kind of hard to really place. Even after looking at maps, the best way to put it would be to describe its surroundings It is west of the Long Beach Airport, north of Signal Hill, east of the "blue-line" train tracks, and south of Hughes Middle School and Longfellow Elementary.

I have never moved from my neighborhood, and the only real change I can record is when my grandparents moved closer to us when they moved directly to our block. I used to fly or drive out to Law Vegas almost every summer to see them when I was really young, so their proximity is one of the greatest blessings God has bestowed on me. They moved to our block maybe five or six years ago.

Other than my grandparents, not much has changed around my neighborhood. The house directly north of mine has had three different neighbors in the time that I've known it, and I still haven't really gotten to know the most recent ones yet, as they moved in only a couple months ago. Neighborliness has never really been a big thing in my family, because my father worked late nights for his job while he was with us, and my mother is extremely shy. Whether that indifference and apathy is wrong or not (FSAE: It is. You'll have to be the first in your line to change that.), I'd rather not think about it for the time being, and just devote my convictions to being a better and friendlier person than my old self.

I only really had one childhood friend in the neighborhood, because none of the other neighbors had children the same age as me and my brother. This guy's name is Chris DeGuzman, and he lives two houses down from me. Something that sticks out in my memory of him was that I had a really weird sense of jealousy towards him. His family is much "better off" [financially] than mine, especially since his parents still love each other, besides that he is much more mature than I. I always knew that envy is wrong, and I never fully was envious of him nor was I ever fully devoid of envy towards him. Strange, right? My mind is very complicated (FSAE: No, you weren't. Now you are.), and sin makes it worse. But maybe sin is both the cause and the effecting crescendo of a result? Anyways, our friendship deteriorated when I began to introvert when my father dropped the ball and when he entered high school. Since he's a year or two older than I, he is now commuting to college, so I see him even less frequently.

My parents have told me countless times that they picked out the neighborhood we live in because it is quaint and docile, one of the quieter and tamer parts of Long Beach: perfect to raise a family in! That decision seems to have backfired (to me, personally) and left a broken home in a community that is collectively younger than my mother. 

Rant #3: Rated T

Pastor Roland Keller makes me really happy. If you happen to fall upon my blog, reader, take a look at his; for his blog is the compilation of many more years of studying Scripture and living life.

(Preface: this is not a pet peeve of mine, or a petty annoyance. This is not unnecessary anger, this is not an empty-stomached rant.)

There is a set of billboards advertising for the awareness of discord in the Middle East, Palestine vs. Israel in particular, to college students, comparing atrocities of war (committed by Israelis against Palestinians) to those of the German concentration camps of the Second World War. None of this irks me. It is a noble cause to alert college students of modern history's contemporary events. It is noteworthy to pay attention to details and statistics of violence committed against and by any groups of humanity.

There's just one thing: beneath the mission statement board, there was a movie-rating stamp that said "Rated "T:" Truth: WARNING: IT MAY SET YOU FREE."

Uh. Yeah. That's unacceptable.
1. It is unprofessional to misquote your source.
a. This quote was plagiarized from Jesus in the gospel of John, 1st century A.D.
b. This quote was taken vastly out of context, rendering this an example of cherry-picking. You can't slice and dice sentences, much less a person's coherent thought. Especially when that Person happens to be the Son of God Almighty and the only One worthy of claiming total authority over capital T truth. But I get ahead of myself.
c. The correct context for Jesus's statement-- "Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on Him, "If you continue in My word, [then] are you my disciples indeed; AND you shall know the truth, AND the truth shall set you free." (John 8:31-32, in context of claiming unity with the Father and having the power to free sinners from sin; capitalization mine).

2. It is unprofessional to intentionally use loaded language and put more emphasis on the emotional strength of an argument than on its logical weight.
a. But we live in a post-modern world where feelings trump doctrine.
b. Are you really going to argue with yourself?
c. Furthermore, it is unprofessional to use emotional language when you diametrically disagree with the logic of that emotionally compelling argument.

3. It is unprofessional to claim religious authority in a political statement.
a. Exhibit A: the 2012 republican presidential primary candidates.
b. Not only do people hide behind the facade (just pretend like we're French and the squiggly extends below the "c") of church-state separation, (which is biblical but not necessarily constitutional), assuming that church/state separation = God/state separation, they inevitably borrow from their primary authority, both corporately and personally in lawmaking. You can't help but default to your primary set of beliefs when you vote, unless you're one of those lame "I-just-vote-how-my-party/district-wants-me-to-vote" representatives. (Mental note to self: gerrymandered districts = Districts of Panem?)
c. Thus, even if you must claim, when questioned hard and long enough, religious (thus, divine) authority behind one's political opinions, our post-modern American society chooses to squelch this sort of speech.
d. Therefore, this mission statement is inherently flawed.

4. It is anti-biblical, thus anti-Jesus, thus anti-God, thus anti-humanity (that progression isn't necessarily linear...) to speak of capital T truth outside of the words of Christ, who is the Λογος . 

a. Truth is a little bit funny in that if something is true, then all of humanity is required to accept it wholeheartedly and to perform it and to relish it and to obey it. This is not a necessity but an obligation. 

b. If true and valid and accurate anti-strange-pro-Palestinian-wall arguments are made, then there's a disparity. 

c. True arguments are made daily, hence discord in the Near East. 

d. Neither side is capital T true in their aspirations, else one side would rationally be obligated to acquiesce and surrender. 

e. This wall's pro-Palestine emotional appeals are not capital T true. 

f. Where's the beef? 

This upsets me greatly. Or maybe I'm hungry... Nah. I'm pretty sure this's what's bothering me. 

Journey

People I hear often insist that "the journey is the destination." Well, uh... no. Regardless of whether I or my peers would like to admit it, time is an arrow, a mathematical ray, which shoots from one end of history to the culmination. There are plenty of births and deaths, winters and springs, ebbs and flows, waxing and waning cycles. Someday you and I will be dead, buried beneath ash or dirt or cement or sea, and we'll face the judgment seat of the Christ. Today is the day of salvation; kiss the Son, lest you perish.

"Lest" is a good word. As are "scaffolding," "scald," "sear," "suffer," and "state."

However, this is not to de-emphasize the importance of the preparation and adventure of the journey to the cross! T. S. Eliot, the American-turned-British author and poet of the mid-20th century, became a Christian, and this poem , I believe, is his testimony.

Journey of the Magi
       'A cold coming we had of it,
Just the worst time of the year
For a journey, and such a long journey:
The ways deep and the weather sharp,
The very dead of winter.'
And the camels galled, sore-footed, refractory,
Lying down in the melting snow.
There were times we regretted
The summer palaces on slopes, the terraces,
And the silken girls bringing sherbet.
Then the camel men cursing and grumbling
And running away, and wanting their liquor and women,
And the night-fires going out, and the lack of shelters,
And the cities hostile and the towns unfriendly
And the villages dirty and charging high prices:
A hard time we had of it.
At the end we preferred to travel all night,
Sleeping in snatches,
With the voices singing in our ears, saying
That this was all folly.

         'Then at dawn we came down to a temperate valley,
Wet, below the snow line, smelling of vegetation;
With a running stream and a water-mill beating the darkness,
And three trees on the low sky,
And an old white horse galloped away in the meadow.
Then we came to a tavern with vine-leaves over the lintel,
Six hands at an open door dicing for pieces of silver,
And feet kicking the empty wine-skins,
But there was no information, and so we continued
And arrived at evening, not a moment too soon
Finding the place; it was (you may say) satisfactory.

       All this was a long time ago, I remember,
And I would do it again, but set down
This set down
This: were we led all that way for
Birth or Death? There was a Birth, certainly,
We had evidence and no doubt. I had seen birth and death,
But had thought they were different; this Birth was
Hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death.
We returned to our places, these Kingdoms,
But no longer at ease here, in the old dispensation,
With an alien people clutching their gods.
I should be glad of another death.
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"Prepare to meet thy God, O Christian! Betake thyself to thy chamber on the Saturday night, confess and bewail thine unfaithfulness under the ordinances of God; be ashamed of and condemn thyself for thy sins, entreat God to prepare thy heart for, and assist it in, thy religious performances; spend some time in consideration of the infinite majesty, holiness, jealousy, and goodness, of that God, with whom thou art to have to do in sacred duties; ponder the weight and importance of His holy ordinances...; meditate on the shortness of the time thou hast to enjoy Sabbaths in; and continue musing... till the fire burneth; thou canst not think the good thou mayest gain by such forethoughts, how pleasant and profitable a Lord's day would be to thee after such a preparation. The oven of thine heart thus baked in, as it were overnight, would be easily heated the next morning; the fire so well raked up when thou wentest to bed, would be the sooner kindled when thou shouldst rise. If thou wouldst thus leave thy heart with God on the Saturday night, thou shouldst find it with him in the Lord's Day morning."
-George Swinnock, Works, (Edinburgh: James Nichols, 1868), I:229f

On a completely unrelated note, Rick Lindsay once told me "What? It's not like the internet's going to run out of space; post it [ this, to be specific ] on your blog!" This is true. The only problem is that I can't tell who reads my blog, or even who would stumble upon my words, which is the paramount problem with a public blog. I can see who chooses to let me know they "follow" my words, and those who leave comments, but besides that, my words seem to spew into the blogosphere, where they have unseen effects...

Rant #2: A Sophomore's Disparity

04/07/12
I felt like a fool today when I rushed to class, stepping off curbs the wrong way, so that I temporarily strained my ankles... twice.

I felt like a fool today when I showed up at 11:05, promptly late for my 11 o'clock discussion meeting, only to remember discussion groups normally don't meet on the first week of school.

I felt wise when that extra hour enabled me a leisurely talk with Mr. Winslow about the potential teaching role I might fulfill this fall.

I felt wise when that extra hour enabled me the time to translate some more of the Greek paragraph I was working on.
---------------------------
NO. -the apostle Paul, first-century Hebrew nationalist-turned Gentile preacher, slave of the Christ.

Not all of these are disparities, nor are they all problematic, but I'll let you be the judge, reader. I only am not choosing to spell things out because this is my pre-Greek-midterm rant-post.

1. Christopher once asked me, "Should we as Christians perpetually mourn for the lost? Should we rejoice in our salvation, knowing our brothers and neighbors are lost in the same darkness that bound us?"
I have great heaviness and continual sorrow in my heart. For I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren, my kinsmen according to the flesh: who are Israelites; to whom pertained the adoption, and the glory, and the covenants, and the giving of the law, and the serve of God, and the promises, whose are the fathers, and of whom as concerning the flesh Christ came, who is over all, God blessed for ever. Amen. ---Romans 9:2-5
+
There shall not any man be able to stand before you all the days of your life: as I was with Moses, so I will be with you: I will not fail you, nor forsake you. Be strong and of a good courage: for unto this people shall you divide for an inheritance the land, which I sware unto their fathers to give them. Only be you strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law, which Moses my servant commanded you: turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper whithersoever you go. This book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth; but you shall meditate therein day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall have good success. Have not I commanded you? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be you dismayed: for the LORD your God is with you whithersoever you go. -- Joshua 1:5-9

2. I am dumbfounded that it did not occur to me that library books quickly become unquotable when returned to their proper shelf. I have written: "Medicine quote (pg. 242, 376)," and I intended to quote the 1950s apprentice country general practitioner Barry Fingal's problematic philosophy of practical medicine, the atheistic character of Patrick Taylor's An Irish Country Doctor. This, however, is a month late, at best. I will do my best to quote as accurately as possible from my memory.

"Barry had learned the hard way much earlier that a doctor never could completely care for any one patient. You had to build up a wall of unfeeling, a carapace of indifference, in order to survive; otherwise, you'd crack up" (roughly 242).
"Would you have cared if she died on your operating table, Jake?" "Honestly? Probably not. You can't treat them like people behind the sterile sheets and white beds and closed doors; it would be too much like gutting a fish, fishing around inside them." (roughly 376).

This distressed me greatly. I had committed myself for a full year of university biology in anticipation of being a caring doctor / surgeon. I was going to fix hearts, and mend souls with peoples' attention and mortality salience. (That's a good phrase I got from psychology which basically just means ""how much you think about death, specifically your own.") The reason for this great distress was that the job of a counselor is not much different from the style of practical medicine explained in the rolling hillsides of 1950s Ireland, where people are given more placebos and genuine personal care than actual antibiotics. And if this foolish country doctor thought so, what of the similar personal care required of a councilor? My High School Spanish teacher was taking night classes in order to become a councilor, as being bilingual Spanish / English in California is incredibly useful in helping sort out marital problems. She explained to me numerous times about the unusually high "burn-out" rate of councilors, because it's so hard to leave the numerous peoples' problems at the office. But if I would be a pastor, how could I "leave other peoples' problems at the office?" My best answer, which placated my hunger, was that I would humbly and persistently present needs, requests, pleas, desires, praises, and tears before God Almighty, both those of mine and of others, so that I won't be driven mad with my own inability and inadequacy.

3. At UCI's orientation program, the theme of the weekends was "As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same." -SPOP 2010
This could not be further from the close affiliation the UC system has with the symbol of light. Fiat lux is the motto of the Universities of California, and it means "Let there be light." Sound familiar? These are the first of God's edicts, found in Genesis 1:3. And the theme of Student-Parent-Orientation-Program draws its anonymous quotation as a mockery and aping of Matthew 5:16-- "Let your light so shine before men [as a candle not put under a bushel, but on a candlestick], that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."
(and... Proverbs 4:18, Isaiah 9:2, John 1, Acts 9 & 12, II Corinthians 4, Philippians 2, II Peter 1, I John 2, Revelation 21)

I need to study Greek. μι-verbs are the bane of my existence.  

Solitary Man

I've had it to here, being where love's a small word:
a part time thing, a paper ring. 
I know it's been done, havin' one girl who'll love me:
right or wrong, weak or strong


I don't know that it will, but until I can find me
a girl who'll stay and won't play games behind me,
I'll be what I am: a solitary man. 


Here's Johnny Cash's rendition of this song.

My hay fever is killing me...or at least causing me to embarrassingly drip all over my vest every 5 minutes.

So I promised my thorn that I wouldn't publish our text conversations (he just got an iPhone, so his conversation IQ level plummeted, naturally), but here's a bit of his manly advice from personal communication.

Joe, I don't think any of us are "looking for a relationship;" they just sort of happen. My advice is that it's best to just get it out in the open; there's nothing worse than not knowing. 

A few observations:
1. Right he is! Knowledge is good; the fear of the LORD is the beginning thereof!
2. Most people's speech could use semi-colons as opposed to periods, as we often qualify or explain previous sentences with subsequent ones, thus making semi-colons the preferable choice. Or that might just be me.
3. I think Thorn's "us" refers to young Christian adults.
4. I think he's on to something when he says that these things just happen.

This is a topic I'm fond of of which I'm fond, for I had been listening to Pastor Viggiano's marriage lectures on my commute to Irvine, and one of the points he brought up involved God's sovereign hand being involved in courtship / dating / whatever. Obviously it's me picking up the phone to call a girl, but Jesus says

"For the hardness of your [Pharisees'] heart he [Moses] wrote you this precept [that a man could write a bill of divorce and lawfully put his wife away]. But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female' (Gen. 1:27). 'For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;' (Gen. 2:24) and they two shall be one flesh: so then they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder." --Mark 10:5b-9


This is cool because it demonstrates that marriage (and all the stuff leading up to it!) is done by God.... and a man and woman. I may be over-enthusiastic about marriage, but God is too, since He gave us marriage as the closest continuer to the relationship God created for/with His people. At the same time, this also helps me understand God's sovereign providence, for marriage is an example of God working with His people, as is the case with evangelism.

A couple quotes:
Evangelism: "You and I aren't called to use our extensive powers to convict and change the sinner while God stands back as a gentleman, quietly waiting for the spiritual corpse, His declared spiritual enemy, to invite God into his heart. Rather, we should resolve to preach the gospel like gentlemen, persuading while knowing we can't regenerate anyone, and then stand back while God uses all His extensive powers to convict and change the sinner. Then we'll see clearly who it is that can really call the dead to life, and although he'll use us in the doing of it, it's not you and I who are actually doing it.

Westminster Shorter Catechism:
Q11. What are God's works of providence?
A. God's works of providence are his most holy [Ps. 145:17], wise [Ps. 104:24], and powerful preserving [Heb. 1:3] and governing all his creatures, and all their actions [Ps. 103:19; Matt. 10:29; Job 38-41].

Q12. What special act of providence did God exercise toward man in the estate wherein he was created?
A. When God had created man, he entered into a covenant of life with him, upon condition of perfect obedience [a]; forbidding him to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, upon pain of death [b].
[a] Compare Gen. 2:16, 17 with Rom 5:12-14; Rom. 10:5; and Luke 10:25-28 with the covenants made with Noah and Abraham.
[b] Gen. 2:16-17; James 2:10

Getting to know God: "How do you keep the candle burning? Maybe a better question is 'Why would you want to?' If it was the norm, what would you be working towards? Is a drug addict always high? People are always talking about how they want to get to know God; you people don't want to get to know God! God is horrifying! God will screw you up. God will turn everything on your head; He'll make all your leasts your greatests and all your greatests your leasts. He'll make you come to grips with the reality that you aren't in control of anything. God might be love, but Love is terrifying. Don't be messy, and get to know God."
-Blimey Cow